You are here

Both want the same thing, neither can agree...

Toastergirl's picture

Remember that short story where the wife cuts off all her long, beautiful hair to buy her Husband a chain for his pocket watch? But he sold the pocket watch to get her a ornate comb for her long hair? Neither communicated with each other and they ended up with a WTF gift? Yeah, it's kind of like the same principle here. Except both parties loathe each other.

Both Dr. Evil and DH want to get SD a counselor. Problem is-neither will communicate with the other to get her one.

I have relentlessly begged DH for months to get 8yr old SD a counselor. The PAS Dr Evil inflicts on SD is abhorrent. He says he will, but doesn't. He simply doesn't want to deal with Dr Evil. He doesn't want to send the email. I am very upset with him about this.

SD told me two months ago her mom was looking into counseling for her because of SD's slipping grades and anger issues. She then said several weeks ago that her mom had found her one. Here is what I am afraid of happening: By the JCP and our state law, BOTH parents have to consent to a minor child seeing a counselor. By the JCP, Dr Evil has final say on all medical. I CAN SEE Dr Evil using her medical connections find a counselor, to tell the counselor "My ex husband is evil/crazy. He won't consent. Im the final say on medical, don't bother contacting him." Then the counselor will just be a "secret" between Dr Evil and SD. SD told me that her dad won't say yes to her getting a counselor. I told her that he would, and if she went to her father and said she has issues she wants to talk about to a counselor he would say yes. She refused.

Dr Evil texted me the other night talking about SD. Making polite chit-chat. I should not have responded. I brought up counseling, how SD told me she was looking into it, how that's a great idea, she should discuss it with DH, etc. She immediately responds with, "Dh will not agree to it. He has never paid for any of my maternity bills or SD's medical bills. However I am looking into it for SD's sake." I know this is a lie, and this is what a great deal of their litigation has been over post divorce- Dr Evil playing hide and seek with SD's medical bills and appointments: giving 12 hours notice for appointments that were scheduled a week in advance(mother will notify father about appts in a 'timely manner'), sending DH Dr bills after the 30 day window, hiding bills to pretend the appts never existed, telling DH that since SHE is the doctor and the mother, his medical input is useless and not needed, etc. She then texted apologizing, stated she was grumpy and tried to make more polite chit-chat.

So here we are, a YEAR after I first noticed the PAS and SD coming to me with "secrets" her mother tells her; a year after I told DH "You need to get SD a counselor" and BOTH parties are so stuck up their own asses they don't believe the other will agree, even though they will. Both parties hating each other too much to communicate and realize the person losing is the person they love the most.

It's like O. Henry for divorced people.

Comments

Toastergirl's picture

Logic is lost on hex, unless it's technical/medical. Woman has a PHD but no people skills. And my DH is lost on logic right now, for that matter.

Unfortunately, yes. Hex has a very tight reign on the medical part in the JCP. DH can in no way whatsoever make any medical decision without her consent. oh wait, I see what you mean, like a counselor at her school? That could very possibly work. I hate the damned JCP.