Am I overreacting here?

Short summary of our family. DH and I have been together for 2.5 years we have 4 children between us. I have BD7 from previous marriage and BS1 that DH and I have together. DH has SS7 from previous relationship and SD 2 from another previous relationship. Here's my issue....it is well known that I do not care for SS7 at all, DH knows this. I tolerate (barely) him for the sake of "the family." Anyway earlier this morning I heard him trying to convince my BD7 to play "kick each other in the privates game." This is nothing new because SS7 is ALWAYS talking about his "privates." After hearing this I talked to both kids and explained that this is not an appropriate game. They promised they would not do it again. Then this evening I sent BD7 up to take her shower while I was getting the 2 little ones ready for bed. I take BS1 up to give him a bath in my tub and see SS7 peeking through the bathroom door at my naked daughter getting ready for her shower. BD7 "forgot" to lock the door and with the fan on and the shower heating up, she did not hear SS7 open the door. I am truly disgusted in my SS7. I honestly feel as though I am going to vomit. SS7 seems to be very sexual as like I said he is always talking about "privates" and wanting to play stupid games that involve "privates." Both DH and I have spoken with both kids individually and together to obviously no avail. DH is works 3rd shift so he is sleeping right now so I can't talk to him about it. When I do get to speak with him I am going to suggest counseling for SS7 because if, after being told over and over he still does these things, obviously something is wrong right? I am ready to pack up myself, BD7 and BS1 if DH refuses. Or if DH says he will and doesn't get him into some type of therapy I will leave. I don't care how "curious" SS7 is he is not using my daughter a a guinea pig! Please help!

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I don't blame you for one

I don't blame you for one second! I'm wondering if SS has been molested or abused? The age of 7 seems awfully young to be THAT curious. This doesn't seem normal to me.

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

Seems strange to me for his age

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

I can remember my oldest-one day when I was babysittting a friends daughter-and I walked in on them in the living room, totally naked :jawdrop:. But they were like THREE years old. So it was total innocence.

At 7 he should without quesiton know better...and yet he seems to be too young of an age for it to be a real sexual thing...

I'd sure want the opinion of a professional on this one.

WOW!!!!!!

You and your husband need to sit down and talk to him. Maybe counseling would be a great idea for him. Seems like he is extremely curious to know the differences between boys and girls - but it seems to early for that type of behaviour.

Yes I thought it was a

Yes I thought it was a little early for that type of curiosity as well. He has seen the difference between boys and girls because we are attempting to potty train his 2 year old sister and she is constantly taking all of her clothes off and running around! To me, it really doesn't matter whether he is curious or if he's been abused, I really don't care one way or the other what I do know is that my daughter is not going to be the next victim! When I saw him peeking, I yelled his name and he quickly closed the door. I went over and peeked in the door to see how much he saw and sure enough my daughter was standing there naked getting ready to get in the shower. She was visibly upset by this and I know that it sounds bad for me to say I don't care if he's been abused or what but my maternal instincts are kicking in and they are telling me to protect my daughter! Thank you all for your comments at least now I know that I am not overreacting and that something needs to be done asap to correct SS behavior.

Respectfully disagree

I think it's important that you do care. I mean no disrespect, but if he has been abused it makes it infinitely more likely that he will abuse other children, more likely the younger ones if he does not get help.

It is not unnatural for children to have curiosities about sexuality and differences between the sexes, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that curiosity, it is the way he is going about it that is a problem.

I suggest you speak to a professional about this both for advice and guidance as to how to approach teaching SS about sex b/c he clearly wants to know, and whether or not he should be evaluated for abuse as there are other specific signs.

Again, I apologize if my post is considered harsh or critical, I just would encourage you to take a larger view on the whole issue, and try a proactive approach....

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Albert Einstein

I do care enough to know

I do care enough to know that the kid needs some help. And if my DH does not get him somewhere where he can get help I will be moving out. Like I said earlier, my child will not be the next victim the abuse (if it is abuse) cycle stops now with SS. I would love to see SS grow to be a respectable adult that is way I am being so stern with DH to get him some help. Things like this (not as bad as this) have been happening (the games and stuff) since he came back from BM in July this year. So it's not a new topic of conversation between DH and I. I just want him to do something about it this time!

I agree with you

I agree with you northernsiren...I would definitely care wholeheartedly if a child has been abused. And most DEFINITELY take the steps neccessary to protect your daughter, but at the same time approach this child with compassion because he may be a victim himself. He is still a very young child and I sincerely hope nobody has done something to him to steal his innocence...and at the same time make sure he is stopped from doing that to your daughter. Good luck & I too would demand that your DH gets him evaluated & counseling for both his own sake & your daughters!

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

I agree with you

"Nobody will ever win the battle of the sexes. There's too much fraternizing with the enemy"

OMG!!!!!

i dont care if the boy was abused normal or just plying around you let a lil boy look in on y daugher while shes taking a bath or whatever her own time is hers.......if i was you and i know most dont beleive in it but WOOP HIS AAAASSSS!!!!!!omg thats crazy at the age 7?id be lookin at BM for answers! good luck but if it was me i would have so wooped his ass so hard he wouldnt be able to sit down for a month!

Wow

I suggest counseling, he sounds like he has a obsessive behavior, he is till so young.
I know your angry, who wouldnt be, but with counseling ss may have a chance to get out of this behavior and grow up to be a fine young man, Someone you can be proud of, that you helped raise, instead of this turning worse into something that will get him into alot of trouble.

future sd7 is also curious

I've caugt future sd looking in art books at naked pictures. Also at babysitters she made a secret hiding spot with one of the boys and said they kiss there - she was caught when the boy told his mom about it. Then to make things worse, she told someone at school. Her parents joined forces on this one and gave her a serious talking to - it seemed to work cuz we haven't had problems since but she is still boy crazy for her age. Your situation is far worse since this effects your daughter, I would freak out too, cuz this just sounds creepy. I hope your h stands by your side on this - I don't think it is an over reaction.

I truly

believe that a mother's job is not only to feed her child but the #1 charge is to PROTECT, at ANY cost. This child should not be near your daughter. Getting the other child help is also important, but secondary for you! You are absolutely doing the right thing. I am sorry your family is suffering through this.

And if it

offended my significant other that I didn't want his kid near mine-------------OH WELL. He would have to leave too. PERIOD

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Am I overreacting here?

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