DH and I had a fight last night. I know that I was out of line but I meant what I said - just probably should have said it :). I think I need some one to teach me how to disengage.

What I said... the short version. I called SS7 a 'dumb ass' and told DH that I apparently have higher standards for SS7 and his behavior, to which DH replied with "you don't think that I have higher standers than you?" I didn't respond but the answer 'hell no' popped in my head. We didn't talk again the rest of the night.

Here is what lead up to that conversation.

After dealing with SS5 and SS7 all week I was looking froward to a nice weekend with the family snowmobiling. Mainly because i can't hear SS7 non-stop talking when I have my helmet on. We were staying the night at my parents house so we could ride both Saturday and Sunday.

During the week we had issues like SS7 not putting his shoes on right, he just jams him foot in them and slops around. The tongue is in the toes and the back is all mashed down but I am not buying him new shoes if he can't flippin wear them right. He trips and fall all the time and wonders WHY. And SS7 start crying to DH one day because in math they do times tests and he is the only one on 'H' everyone else it MUCH further a head of him. (the started at 'a' and the test get harder). Also his new thing this week is to randomly ask "What?". Like if you run into him in the hall way or he will just come up to you out of no where and ask, its so weird.

Saturday morning I woke up to the sound of SS7 slamming the toilet lid at 6 A.M. We told him that he needed to staying bed until 7 A.M, He has a clock in his room and he can tell time (other wise he gets up at 5 am). He walked around the living room and then went back to his room. He got up again 30 minutes later and went to the bathroom AGAIN. So at 7 he gets up for the 3rd time and wanted to watch TV but we have to get ready to go so I tell them to get dressed and I start breakfast. All the while DH is packing the truck never mind that I didn't have everything ready yet. I was still getting stuff together when DH was having the sKids put there stuff on to go. SS7 starts following me around asking if I am ready yet and I finally just snapped at him., that I wasn't and I didn't even know why DH had them put their jackets on.

When we got on the road DH finally asked me if I am 'cranky' and I say yes!

We get to my parents and ss7 starts bouncing on the furniture and playing with the lift chair. And I was trying to get them to get their gear on SS5 dressed himself completely while SS7 waited for MIL to dress him (MIL and FIL were going with us as well) which just annoys me that he can't dress himself. SS7 ended up breaking the leg on the sofa from bouncing on it.

DH was trying to rest (because he got up early to go into work) so I was trying to get SS7 showered and ready for dinner I caught him in the bathroom trying to button him pants BEFORE putting them on because he said it was easier. I told him not to be stupid and do it right.

We took them out to eat and SS7 talked non-stop about everything, interrupting other people conversations. He kept saying he was done because he wanted to go to the game room but everyone else was eating and we could send him alone. SO he sat there and ate everything on his plate.

Sunday morning SS7 did the bathroom thing again. He got up once and went, slamming the toilet lid and waking everyone up. I heard him got back to the room that they were sleep in which was next to our and I could hear him moving around in there so I got up to check and he met me at the door wondering if it was time to get up - no it's 6 am so I put him back in bed. 30 mins later he gets up and goes to the bathroom again. I follow him back to his room and tell him to lay down again and not get up until some one else does.

The rest of the day was more of the same, bouncing on chairs and running in the house. SS7 is just so tired and I can tell but he fights his sleep so much. Oh and he couldn't play his DS or with toy unless someone was in the room with him. So he sits on the floor by us and gives us a play by play while we are trying to talk to my parents.

Finally on the way home they realize that it's Sunday and time to go back to BM's and they are excited when they cheered DH's said 'boo'. Now I am not sure if SS7 was talking about me or BM but she said it's not always boo, because some times it's nice to get a break from all the talking he does. Which I will admit the kids was right but I have never told him that. DH started to explain how that was not true and was trying to get me to agree with him but I refused. I finally told him "If you had to deal with them all day you might change your mind."

We dropped them off and BM was a witch to DH, basically accused him of stealing or losing the hats that she got the boys. She said last Sunday that their hats were in their bags but they weren't, we had extras so we used them but we didn't send them to BM's house because we never see them again.

Oh our way to meet my mom at the casino for some adult time. We got to talking about SS7. I told him that the kids id just not very bright. he doesn't think or consider how his actions much affect him. We got on the topic of the shoes and DH challenged me to name one 7 year old that knows how to put their shoes on, i named 4! He just kept making excuses for SS7 and I hate that, I know it's his kid but he isn't perfect. And while is behavior is better than some kids that I know it's not ideal IMO and I am a perfectionist. I told DH that I feel like I lecture SS7 all the time and he told me that I do.

In the silence the followed my comments I got to thinking. I was cranky all week and I think part of it is that DH and I are trying to have a baby but we aren't having any luck. I want one of my own so bad so that I can raise it that way I want to and hope that it acts the way I think it should But I know stress can affect a women's ability to conceive and it would actually be better for me NOT to stressed about sKids. But I struggle to disengage, because let's face it I have a low tolerance for stupidity.