Tonight DH and I had a very long discussion as to why I don't want to be involved with SD4 and SS15. It was very intense and emotional. I had to explain to him that although I knew of the kids and was around the kids before we married, I never knew that my feelings regarding them would intensify to this level. Now that we are married, I can't stand the fact that my husband made babies with another woman...It really disgusts me. We went back and forth about the hurt and misery that it's causing all of us. He suggested that we get counseling because he could not live like this forever but we would never consider divorce...

I got in the shower and prayed...and what I got back was that I need to be thankful for my blessings that I do have. I got out and told DH that I love him and I am willing to focus on the good (b/c there is so much good) in our relationship and I just have to buck up and face my reality...I am a stepmother. The other night he couldn't get me to admit it...I didn't even like the sound of it...But I have to be a woman and handle my responsibilities as such. I am not saying that it will be easy but for my marriage sake, I have to try!

I love DH sooo much...and I can't live in misery...Do anyone have any advice on how to tolerate SS4...I just have NOTHING for her.