It's probably just a bad day, or it's a bad mood...or a bad life

When I was young, I was taught to be a good person, work hard, go to school, be useful to society...so here I am, the 30-something good citizen, mother, full-time career woman, doing everything the traditional way...blah blah...

then you have BM , who has 3 kids from 3 dads, was on welfare forever , worked all of 6 months in her 40 years of life(it took her 6 years, while not working, to take a class that most humans complete in 18 months while working)and now just had baby #3 and when there is nothing left, she still manages to come bug us...she decided to take SS for a neuropsychological exam (does not require a Dr prescription here, so of course she just decided he needs this), 700$ later lets us know we owe her this much...and we have 14 days to pay her (the CO says extra costs are to be split 15% her 85% DH, if they are reasonable and the kid needs it, and we have 14 days to pay her. although she is supposed to inform us in a timely fashion...when our last CO was done, SS had alot of anxiety, he has ADHD as well...but this was 4 years ago...he needed nothing of this sort the past 4...now that her baby is here, he is flipping, wants to come over to our place every weekend, is asking to spend the summer at our place...) and whenever things don't suit BM she threatens to take us back to court (it costs her nothing as she does not have an income, she benefits from free legal aid) and ask to revoke DH's rights as a dad(I know she'd never get that granted...but the nerve...DH has always paid CS plus lots of extras, taken care of SS, been civilized to her although she does not deserve it...)She can have all the kids she wants, stay home to pretend she is raising her kids, and do God knows what she is doing, meanwhile I have to work full-time because we need it, raise my kids, try to finish my Master's degree, look half decent...but I'm married so I don't get the single parent sympathy...nevermind my husband works/goes to school/is never home...I'm a married single mom...

So my rant today,is why did I waste all my life doing the right thing? Why can't I just act like an idiot and expect society to take care of me, and whatever kids I decide to bring into the world because it suits my fancy? sometimes I just want to leave...grab my kids and run...or get a divorce just to get child support from my husband, and get him to spend the same amount on all his kids... On a day like today, I find it almost insulting that DH was able to get a woman like me after being with BM...what was I thinking...anyone feel like this sometimes? or am I alone on another planet?

tomorrow is another day...