I looked for this forum to see if anyone else gets it... I am a newlywed, I am a woman, I am a stepmother, I am invisible. I got married knowing that I would have a SS. I had never dated anyone with a child. It was presented to me as "I have a 5yo son and he is my best friend so if this is something you cannot deal with than let me know now" This was our first conversation. I felt intrigued... What I heard was- I am a man that loves my son and I will love you the same if you let me! Win/WIn. But what was not said was- because of this you will not be the main focus when I have him, you will have to put up with his mother, you will only have some say so on what happens in your life, and could you do all of this graciously? Thanks! It is way more complicated then I ever anticipated.
Now let's talk BM! She is awful, she feels so entitled. I get that she birthed him, but does that make you entitled? And not to him but the whole world? She does not work (ever! she is 29), she just recently got a job because of our custody battle. Which FYI is on the 10th of this month. We are going for full custody. She can see him but she is a bad influence. She doesn't cook, he eats fast food on the regular. She want desperately to be his friend and not his disciplinary. As you can tell this is an on going issue for myself, hub and now 7 yo SS. I have tried it all. I have tried getting her and my hub to go to counseling, we have SS in counseling, I have tried phone calls and dinners and ... it doesn't work. She is a terror!
She refuses to meet us for pick up or drop off, he is late to school constantly, he back talks her, she lets him play inappropriate video games, and the list goes on. The final straw is that she still wants my husband desperately! She bosses him around and until me , he took it. she bad mouths me to my SS. it is a nightmare. And all the while I HONESTLY am very polite still. I refuse to burn this bridge. She won't even let me try to build one. They have been broken up longer than we have been together!!! There is no respect. And the hub will constantly bend and bend without even consulting me. I am at my wits end and I know that after the court date things will at the very least change. We can make plans and not have this constant "pause" in our way. I am really feeling as though this may be too much at times. HELP! Am I invisible? Do you see where I am coming from? I think my hub feels as though he is doing what is best for the situation and he really is a good man but I need to feel as though I RUN MY HOUSEHOLD TOO! I feel like a visitor in his world. Any suggestions? Guidance?