We ran into them. The whole kit and kaboodle. OSD, YSD, BM and company. I gave a sunny smile, waved, and went on my way. That was more than enough interaction for me. If felt like a slap in my face and a punch to my midsection. Ugh!

OSD30s: This one is aboard the struggle train. 3rd generation sponge, she needs a man or family to pay her way. Depression, anxiety, eating disordered, alcoholic, and personality disordered; her intellectual growth appears to have stunted at age12; however, SIL and MIL report issues "out of the womb" and "toddlerhood". (Yet they have painted me the villian because I said "No" to her nonsense. There is no way of making that make sense!) She has been coddled her entire life; can't hold a job, support herself, in and out of treatment 30+ times...her family jokingly says she is "going on vacation", etc. That is a huge part of the problem; her situation is serious, certainly not a joke. The family doesn't talk, but they have excellent sweeping skills...sweep, sweep, sweep. See? All gone! We are perfect! She likes to keep 'daddy' to herself; there was no way she was going to accept any woman in her father's life. Yes, it may have gone better for said woman had she been a door mat. I am not a door mat. She is a mean, hateful liar who goes for the jugular and then twists the story around and blames...you guessed it, me. Projection at it's finest! She was out to personally destroy me before we had ever met and was on a mission to destroy our marriage until my husband went no contact. Yes, DH shut her down from the beginning, but she is nothing if not tenacious. We had tried just about everything to resolve the situation, but it just didn't stop. We really did not know of another alternative. Summary: She's a piece of work; I have never encountered anyone with her degree of dysfunction, her hatefulness, or her ability to tell blatant lies with a smile. It is always me, me, me.

YSD30s: She is socially awkward and has committed a lot of faux pas, which I just overlooked because I thought she just didn't know better. Yes, I realize now how silly I was! I saw her as the 'benign' one in the entire family; recently, after bringing BM to a family celebration, I changed my stance on that. It made me look back over the years at all the little hurts and thoughtless things she had done...they all came rushing back, one by one. It was death by a thousand paper cuts. That selfish decision to bring BM (Who has not been part of the family for 20 years and had never been included before; why now, especially when her father has a wife?) to a family celebration was my 'fatal bleed'. After all, a woman in her 30's should not need her mother to hold her hand, especially at a family celebration. I think back to how I tried to build a relationship with her, the kind and thoughtful things I would do for her; her response was a lack of reciprocity and thoughtless behavior. Yes, DH would talk to her about her faux pas and there was always some flimsy excuse. Her SO is divorced and has kids; she should have some idea of step family dynamics, right? After all, she has never spent a holiday with his ex. Summary: She's the sneaky one...I didn't see it coming!

BM60s: 2nd generation sponge, she needs a man to pay her way. Depression, alcohol abuse, favors "lying in bed all day", and is 'allergic' to good, old fashioned work. I had previously thought that she, too, was 'benign'. That, too, proved to be false, because when she supported OSD's abuse of her father and I by 'liking' ugly posts on social media it became impossible to deny. It really was a genius plan...she could keep her hands 'clean' and have unhinged OSD do the 'dirty work' for her. All the while she was sweet to my face, yet disparaging me behind my back. She would say to my husband, "Oh, I'm so sorry you have been put in this situation." all the while 'egging it on'. (BM, along with DH, contributed to her dysfunction because of the way she was raised!) Yes, DH shut her down too and ended up blocking her. Then she doubled down on the yuck by taking our name back after her last husband divorced her. (Not her maiden name, our name!) Then she moved into the neighborhood our new house is in, hopefully temporarily because she is, once again, sponging. Summary: Sponge who, at best, is a poor excuse for a parent. I'll just stop with that....

Seeing them all together just brought back all the nonsense these three people have inflicted upon our lives. It was not by accident; in retrospect, I can see that most all of it was deliberate. (Except for maybe a few real 'faux pas' by YSD.) I think it hit so hard because I thought YSD was the single person in DH's family that was 'safe' to a small degree. Once again, I feel like an idiot. The realization that, no, she is not safe was it for me. I was formerly done. But now I have a whole new understanding of 'done'. I do not believe there is any going back for how I feel. It will be a whole new spin on being cordial and moving on. It's akin to that last spark of hope being extinguished.