You are here

The short list of issues we deal with with BM

tryingtomakeprogress's picture

HELP! Does anyone else deal with any of these problems with the BM and if so how do you handle them?

Bribing the children to stay at her home and giving them guilt trips if they come to our home.

Discussing legal proceedings with the children regarding out petition to modify and gain full custody of the kids.

Telling the kids, their teachers and others that the kids have various mental illnesses and disabilities and then "treating" them for her made up diagnoses.

BM refuses to work and lives off of child support.

BM spends child support on movie tickets, amusement parks, and vacations rather than paying for utilities and purchasing groceries and clothes for the kids. She relies on welfare services and church services for these things.

BM feeling that the divorce decree does not apply to her if it does not benefit her. For example, taking the kids out of state without giving us notification or refusing to inform us of things going on in the kids lives so we miss awards ceremonies, activities and other important events in the kids lives.

Comments

SteppingUp's picture

Document, document, document. Even document things you realize are petty on their own...together they can speak volumes.

Be the best person/people you can be, so the kids have a great role model. Make a point to contact teachers/adminstrators or others involved in the skid's lives so that they can see both sides of the "equation". Make it your responsibility to stay involved in school events...keep up on the school website/news, call the skids often to get updates on things going on.

Try (as hard as you can) not to stoop to HER level. Don't fan the flames by one-upping bribes/treats or anything like that.

She sounds like alot of the other BM's on here...classic PAS. I don't have to deal with that but just stay as positive and level-headed as you can, and you'll come out ahead.

now4teens's picture

I agree PAS, or at the very least, Hostile Aggressive Parenting.

Document EVERYTHING meticulously. It's a CHORE, but it may pay off in the end.

I do not know how young the children are, but if they are younger, get the book "Divorce Poison"- you may be able to fight the effects with the children if they aren't too "far gone" with the brainwashing.

Stick to the custody schedule 100% percent, no matter what! Do not let her modify it. If your DH has visitation, do not let her take it away from him under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!! This is his only defense to make sure his children do not suffer any more than they have to under her (ahem) care.

If things seem to get contentious in any way, find a good lawyer who will fight for your DHs rights and believes in PAS.