You are here

I have it at my house.......ARGH!

Two Steps Back's picture

Every time I go into my SD's room, there is a new item from her mom's - hydrogen peroxide, vitamins, cotton rounds, acne treatment, etc. that her mom sends seperately in a giant ziplock bag.  I HAVE IT ALL HERE, in MY HOUSE. SD does'nt ask us for anything, and it just keeps adding fuel to the non communication fire.  Bio Mom never communicates either, she just assumes we don't have things here, and is using her SD to keep the lines of communication closed.  She is teaching her to be the same. SD rarely speaks, rarely comes out of her room and this makes it so she never has to even more so.

It seems like a small thing, but it is making me nuts.  I want to tell both of them that if it continues, she should go live with her mom full time.  Let her pay for food, phone, all of it. I want peace. 

PS. Don't ever buy a SKID a cell phone and expect them to use it to communicate with you.  It totally backfired. And Bio Mom likes to buy phone cases, but never helps with the actual bills.  She uses it all the time to reach her kids, who never text me.  It's the worst! I never know what's going on with them, and my husband doesn't take a stand. 

Comments

DHsfamilyfromhell's picture

Yikes. Has she tried Freederm. That works on a lot of people. Its only one bottle! 

I’m afraid I was never great with step kids when I had them so I can’t offer advice, only sympathise. 

Sorry. 

Two Steps Back's picture

No problem, I have to vent here otherwise I'd probably have walked out a long time ago.  Oh wait, I can't walk, it's my house, LOL. 

I have been in it 8 years, and it never gets better so I rarely even try any more. I have my own biological child, and he is a teen too, and my husband is great with him.  It's the other two that act like I don't exist.  The SD is actually neither one of ours, such a long story, but she is half sister to my husbands son, and we have her almost full time.  It just sucks to give these kids stability, but always feel like I am being underminded along the way.  

SteppedOut's picture

You house your husband's former step-daughter? 

You are a better person than I am. That would be a big hell no from me!

hereiam's picture

Right? My DH's former step son has been to my house exactly zero times.

 Sorry, wasn't signing up for that bullshit, his bios were enough.

advice.only2's picture

Don't let it bother you, just stop buying that stuff, since her mom is sending it over.  SD doesn't come out of her room and is antisocial...and this is bad why?  If her bio parent doesnt care then don't let it bother you.  Go about your life and enjoy it. 

hereiam's picture

Well, the first time my SD came over for the weekend after DH and I had moved in together, BM sent SD (then, 5) without ANYTHING. No hair brush, toothbrush, or pajamas. She had no clue if we had these things for her or not, didn't ask, just sent her with nothing.

I was shocked because the only other experience I had being with a man with kids, they brought everything over that they needed for the weekend.

GoingWicked's picture

My SD is so similar, except she went through the trouble of telling me that she prefers what her mom buys because her mom only buys organic (which is totally false she had one all natural lotion her mom gave her over 5 years ago) but it's extra money in my pocket, and no more hassle shopping for it either, I very happily let her mom take over.  
 

I never paid for her phone though.  I would just drop the line, tell them you're cutting back on expenses and let BM pick up that tab too.

shamds's picture

No way would hubby sign up for any contact with them. Neither does exwife meet my kids.

believe me sd’s took pics of my kids and gave it to the exwife and she goes to witch drs. I told hubby she doesn’t get shit and our kids didn’t sign up to have strangers take their pics and pass it around.

 I’m lucky that hubby even bans stepkids from our bedroom... thats my private sanctuary and hubby doesn’t want to ever associate our “fu*k room” with his feral kids from exwife. Our kids are little so even on holidays our kids share a room with us, skids are seperate... 

we don’t want skids ruining the positive sex vibe into negative...

ss only once had a uni friend come over for so-called studying except they laid on sofa olaying on their phones and didn’t talk to one another. No way would hubby dare make an executive decision that a friend or non family can come over