Uuurrrgh, I'm so angry on your behalf, that would have pissed me off too. I you had known, you would have taken your kebabs with you at work. I don't have any advice or anything else to say, just that I understand your frustration and disappointment.

If she knew that the kebobs were yours and you were saving them for your lunch, then that was incredibly rude and selfish of her.  In our house growing up, all food was fair game unless labeled otherwise.  Usually those labels were respected, but when they weren't, there was hell to pay.

You hit the nail on the head when you said that SD eating your food and your DH protecting SD was a sign that he was NOT protecting you or putting your needs first.  That is what would have made me angry.  And that is what I would have said to him:  Do you not love me enough to say to SD, "Those are for TwoOfUs for lunch.  You had your share last night.  Please leave those for her." It is not a huge ask:  SHOW me you love me every once in while by putting my needs -- that were more than reasonable because SD ATE THREE LAST NIGHT - first.  You KNEW I planned on those for lunch, but instead of telling her no, you had her call ME so "I" could be the bad guy.  Not cool, man, not cool.

My mom used to say, "If you want a man to listen to you, strip out the emotional and plead to his logical side, with calmness and facts."  Your DH knows he did wrong, but it is easier to say you are blowing it out of proportion than to say, "I should have told her no and I was wrong."

Oh, and I don't know how you restrained yourself from calling SD and letting her know her actions were piggy and inconsiderate.  She had her share (more than her share!!!) and to eat yours was rude and dishonest.

I will have to admit, that it must be some flashback from college days and when people eat "my" food it makes me extremely angry.  My MIL has a "eat anything you see in my fridge or pantry rule".  She always would say how it was horrible that the girls had to ASK if they wanted to eat something.  I was shocked she saw that as a problem.  My mom made us do it for a variety of reasons.  1.  She may have plans for whatever is in the fridge..potluck.. dad's lunch the next day.. dinner tomorrow night.  2.  She wanted to know what we were eating and when...no snacking close to meals and don't eat a bunch of junk all the time. 3.  It meant she was aware of what we had and if she needed to restock.

It's common courtesy really.  Your DH knew you planned on having that for lunch. Now, if there was possibly enough for 3 people, fine.  he could say you can have "some" of it.. but leave enough for me and SM.  But, he didn't and you came home to no lunch. not fair to you at all.

O my God!  I so get it!!!  Once my DH was in charge of dinner while I worked late.  He made hamburgers for his two and my two and himself only when I  arrived home there was NOTHING to eat because his precious two had to eat two hamburgers each!!  He thought that was perfectly acceptable.   I lost it.  Th At was years ago and I'm still pissed about today. lol....

Gotta love step life...

I wouldn't be cooking for anyone else for at least a month and without a serious apology from DH & SD. Apparently its fend for yourself at your home and thats exactly what I would tell them as I locked my leftovers away in my apartment fridge. Sometimes you need to fight fire with fire. 

Because the brats PASed out before they could appreciate delicious home cooked meals.  They would only eat McDonalds,  Oreos by the sleeve,  cheese pizza, kid kuisine, chicken nuggets, fries, doritos, hot dogs without grill marks, pb&j  (with almost zero pb and crusts cut off), choco milk, choco ice cream,  choco chip pancakes,  gatorade, reeses peanut butter cups (ironically) and kraft dinner (blue box mac and cheese)

They are now 21, 19 and 15 and their diet has NOT changed one bit.  Zero fruit or veg other than corn on the cob.

My SD12 has to be told to eat and she would never eat chicken kabobs OR salad! She "isn't a fan" of chicken. Or veggies, or fruit, or anything remotely healthy. It's mac n cheese, white bread, juice, processed junk, etc etc. Well, she does love DH's ribs and cheeseburgers. 

Ugh, skids and food, I'm glad I'm not the only one that gets extremely aggitated about skids and food.  

Oldredhen nailed it with this:

"It’s easy to tell one’s bio children not to eat certain foods i.e. ingredients for dinner, treats intended for dessert or snacks that need to be shared. However, when it comes to steps, our inability to discipline them into civilized conduct regarding food (or much else, for that matter), results in a lot of repressed resentment."

My BS will always ask before eating anything healthy or not healthy.  Not SD and SD starts eating the moment she sets foot through the door and doesn't stop eating throughout her entire visit.  Also when we have SD SO is always asking about meals way ahead of time and what are we going to have for each meal like SD is starving.  I recently quit cooking when SD is there.  She doesn't like my cooking because it isn't junk so I make SO cook for her when she is there.  SD also gets up earlier than all of us and goes and devours whatever snacks she wants.  SO doesn't see anything wrong with this.  Rather than trying to make him realize this is an issue I just wait until he takes her home on Sunday and go shopping after that.  Otherwise my weeks worth of food for ALL of us is pretty much gone in 3 days.  

What is with skids and their rude food habits?!?!  

I don't even live with my SO, but I still got a taste of SD17's gluttony. I had been shopping with my SO and bought some fancy hand-made chocolates. We were at his place for a while, and I left the bag of chocolates on his dresser IN HIS BEDROOM so they wouldn't get damaged in my purse.

When we returned a few hours later, of course she had eaten them

Of course I couldn't really complain, because how was she to know these weren't her Dadddyyy's?

Not to mention she also helped herself to some clothes I left in my SO's closet. I put an end to that, though.

Nothing pisses me off much more, than when someone eats my food.  I'm sorry, but there are 3 people in my house..Me, DH and BS8.  I know that the steak in the fridge is DH's because he loves steak,  I know that the cucumbers in the fridge are BS8 because he asked for them,  DH and BS8 know that the chicken in the fridge is mine for my salads, etc.  I don't understand how someone just eats someone else's food other than being blatently rude and disrepectful?!  I mean if you know the food is not yours, then either ask or don't freaking touch it.

When BS was a bit younger, he was VERY picky and went through a phase where he would only eat granola bars, pretzels, crackers and things of that nature.  I pointed out to BOTH skids that this one particular cupboard was BS food, and to please not eat it, because that was the only food BS would eat.  We ALWAYS had plenty of other food around the house.  Yet those jerks would come over and eat his food out of that cupboard.  So I just resorted to hiding BS food when they were coming, because DH would just pick a fight if I mentioned it and it wasn't worth it. 

So annoying.... and RUDE!!

Well my SD ate my YD chocolate dessert from the restaurant the night before that next morning. YD asked about her dessert the next day cause she had fallen asleep the night before and didn't get a chance to eat it. I found out SD had asked her BD for it and he gave it to her. I was upset at both of them, cause she already had a dessert and knew that one was not hers. He knew as well, but his answer was I didn't think you would get so upset. Its called boundaries and respect, which neither of them have.