Hop-To-It Disney Dads - Appropriate Parental Behavior or Absurd?
Hey Stalkers!
So, I've read several posts lately about DHs who go to ridiculous lengths to hop to when their kids send a distress text.
There seems to be a lot of disagreement on this...about how appropriate it is. I'm of the opinion that grown men shouldn't...drop everything at work, for example...to run a 45+ minute errand to take A TEEN his school ID so that THE KID doesn't get a 1-hour detention. But that's how I was brought up. My parents had a business and 6 kids and so they let me deal with the natural consequences of my choices, and I learned. They didn't assume the consequences of my mistake...at least not as a habit. To me, this is what kids are coming to expect now. I don't want an hour detention, so I'll ask dad to take an hour out of HIS day instead. Seems fair!
Most absurd recent example? DH and I drove 30 minutes out of our way on a busy night to take SD's car back to her after she left it at our house after kid weekend. SD doesn't drive yet, but she has a car and practices mostly with her dad. I thought SD needed the car for something urgent...was going to practice with her mom, maybe. Had Driver's Ed time scheduled. Nope. No need for the car right away. But she texted her dad: "When can you bring my car back, Daddio?" And he had it to her within the hour. Honestly, it kind of makes me ill. If it were my kid...I'd tell her that I would bring it at my convenience, not hers. Especially as she DOESN'T EVEN DRIVE.
Still, there seem to be many on here who feel this is part of a parents job description?
So, where do you fall on this issue? If you tend to agree with me...what is the most ridiculous thing your DH has done to cater to his kid at his own, or YOUR, expense?
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Comments
I agree with you, and
I agree with you, and fortunately, my DH isn't Disney in the kid-saving regard.
He lets them suffer the consequences of their poor decisions.
Thank DOG!!!!!
My DH does not cater to his
My DH does not cater to his daughter and never has.
in my house, it was "are you
in my house, it was "are you bleeding? Did you break a bone? Do you have a fever? No? Then get your ass back to class."
"Is the broken bone
"Is the broken bone protruding through the skin, causing you to bleed?"
that was the follow up if the
that was the follow up if the answer was yes!!!
HA!!!
Yup - first thing I did after
Yup - first thing I did after picking up said faker was to take the cable cord from his/her bedroom tv and remove laptop/computer cord.
"no, no, honey, you're sick and you need to rest and be still."
Needless to say, my kids didn't pull this horseshit more than once - LOL!!
LOL. I said this to SD12
LOL.
I said this to SD12 (then SD10) once.
"Are you bleeding?"
No.
"Then Ok, deal with it."
Basically she was doing something she shouldn't have and was warned once.
Yes! Two of the three drive
Yes! Two of the three drive themselves now, so the constant requests are dwindling, thank goodness.
I honestly do want some parental opinions here. I am not a parent, so I am basing my opinion entirely on what I think is reasonable and how I was raised. I am certain that there are ways that my parents catered to me or spoiled me that I'm not aware of and that might have raised eyebrows for a non-parent...though I really can't think of any. My parents always said that "you can't spoil a kid with love" so I was completely loved and clearly cherished...but I also KNEW from a very early age that I was the guest in my parents' relationship, not the main attraction. I grew up very independent...but I am also naturally that way and wanted to do for myself starting pretty young.
Maybe when I have kids, I'll do some ridiculous things on their behalf. I'm sure I will. The hopping to seems to be a particular problem for divorced dads, though...
Love this comment: I also
Love this comment:
I also KNEW from a very early age that I was the guest in my parents' relationship, not the main attraction.
The worse was DH parked his
The worse was DH parked his car at a park & ride, left it there and rode his bike home.
He does this periodically to get a good ride in and force him to then ride his bike to get his car the next day. It's a good hour long + bike ride with a couple horrendous hills.
So he does this, gets a call from SD12...she forgot her computer cord and couldn't charge it at mommy's. WTF? SHE can get SD12 a charger then. And her ride to BMs was arriving shortly. So instead of telling her to deal with it (he constantly was driving things to her...cords, her laptop, her bus pass, her school ID, etc.) he RACED his bike to her (near the park & ride). He was completely exhausted and barely made it. Said to me, what if I hadn't made it? It would have been for nothing! DUH.
He's refused to do things like that since.
She forgot her bus pass recently and told her that she'd have to talk her way onto transit and/or get $ from BM on the end route.
Oh my gosh. The drink
Oh my gosh. The drink saga.
My DH would go to the store and run a drink to the school because a kid forgot to pack a drink. Or run money. Really?!?!?! Have they not heard of water fountains?
Also, early Monday morning on kid weekend he'd often look in the fridge and say: "We have no drinks for the kids!!" Or "What are the kids going to DRINK?!?!" His voice had this panic / urgency / disappointed expectation / accusatory tone al at once that absolutely set my teeth on edge. Sorry. I drink water. DH drinks water and OJ occasionally. Buying specialty drinks isn't on my typical grocery list.
And then he'd literally take orders from the kids and go buy individual drinks for their lunches at 7 am. A grape soda for one, Arizona green tea for another, a Sobe for the third. Such entitlement.
Thankfully, as they've gotten older, they actually HAVE been required to fend for themselves and figure it out on their own a lot more.
Oh, I dunno. The fact that he
Oh, I dunno. The fact that he still drives them around because they have neither licenses nor cars and one is 22 and the other is 18 and not in college?
ASS refused to get his
:jawdrop:
ASS refused to get his driver's license. I was sooooooooooooo glad DH refused to be his driving bitch.
The last time was the day
The last time was the day before our wedding. The last time.
Aergia does not have a
Aergia does not have a license yet, only when we turn 18 can we get this..... thus SO has to drive her places, I give a darn as long as it's not on our time...
Now Deigma is back, He has a license but no car and drives my car if I do not need it,
recently Aergia got SO to drive her around in the evenings, I got pissed off cause it's out time, We have agreed evenings when it's out time and some how Aergia needs to go somewhere on our evenings, I kept quiet, I just started lending my car to Deigma on week-ends or drove him around during week-ends when it's out time... SO got angry the first time, I smiled and said... there's 2 children in this relationship not only one eff off...
That was the end off it, now if Aergia wants to go somewhere during our time he will tell her NO, arrange a lift or stay at home.... Deigma is no problem he prefers walking anyway cause he drinks beer and after the first beer he refuses to drive.
Your child / stepchild have
Your child / stepchild have such beautiful names
My DH has gotten better as well...but this used to be one of my biggest pet peeves. The willingness to drop everything and do something trivial for a kid.
please just never use it for
please just never use it for your own daughter in real life - Aergia....
it's not good lol, sounds good but the meaning .... not so good...
I'm glad I will never be Aergia's daughter she's dead set on naming her girl Candida