Absolute worst weekend EVER
So Friday afternoon i have a heart to heart with a close friend and it finally hit me...i'm tired of being in my situation. I am tired of all the drama with skids, dh, bm, and tired of being tired! So i dedcided i was going to do something about it, i wanted out.
Dh or H (lol) finally decides to come home around 11:30 pm from work...i tell him that i've had enough and do not want to be with him anymore. he tells me he will get out in the am. fine. go to sleep. 3 a.m., wake to police beating on my front door. the officer tells h to go to bm's house and get his kids. one is his, the other is not his bio father but h has assumed the role of dad to the kid. apparetnly cps was called on bm and they found it best that the children be removed from her care and she is only allowed supervised visits.. her youngest was already placed with it's father. so h takes the kids and brings them back to my house. poor kids.
now, i cant put dh out and the kids. they've been through enough already and dont want to add to their problems but i dont know if i can make it!! supposedly bm told h that it was temporary and she was going to a facility for a month. well that does not mean she will get her kids back. i cant really complain that he has his son because that is his child but he has NO legal authorty when it comes to the other one. i'm not even sure that cps realizes that. i'm sure once they find out he will be placed somewhere else and that makes me so sad for the kid because how awful to be taken from your home, then your other safe place?
i do not know what to do??!! i did tell h that he had to step it up and he WILL help me around the house. i have been struggling working full time and taking care of our 2 little ones and now i have 2 more??? he has to step up!!! i cant do it all, i'm only one person.
i think for the kids sake i will tough it out but it's gonna be rough!! any advice?
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Comments
oh, that's terribly sad for
oh, that's terribly sad for the children and YOU..... no advice, but much admiration for you sacrificing your happiness for someone else's children...
thanks starfish...oh and i
thanks starfish...oh and i forgot to mention that when he got home at 11 p.m. from "work" he wasnt really at work...he gets off at 3 p.m. on fridays }:)
Good for you. I think a
Good for you. I think a ha-lo is on order for you in this situation. Maybe this will be the wake up call that your DH needs to be the man, husband and father that you and all of the kids deserve.
Good luck and best regards,
OMG , what a bad situation. I
OMG , what a bad situation. I feel for you and the kids. Hope all works out. Please try to stay strong and get some rest.I know it is not easy ,but things will change .
thanks rags and pat...man i
thanks rags and pat...man i just hope i can do it!!! i cant imagine what these poor kids are going through!
thank you so much!! no i
thank you so much!! no i havent read sia's blogs but i think i will...i could use any support, ideas, etc!!
What a nightmare scenario. I
What a nightmare scenario. I really admire you for gritting your teeth for the sake of the Skids, but if your relationship with your H was so bad you couldn't stay together for the sake of your own kids I wonder how you're going to be able to manage it for somebody elses. Obviously you can't put them straight out, but you could continue with your plan to separate but at a slower pace. If you really do feel that trying again is the right thing to do, then perhaps you could use the fact that H has had a big reality check to renegotiate on the issues and behaviour that had caused you to give up. Otherwise he's facing life as a single Dad and then he's going to be doing EVERYTHING on his own.
thanks, and i have wondered
thanks, and i have wondered the same thing myself...i would love for h to step up and be the man, husband, father that he needs to be for all of us and maybe this is something that will make him realize that. it's so sad that it has to take this horrible situation to do so but if it works out for all of us, i welcome it! i really dont want to split up our family but things have to change. i guess i'll just have to wait and see. i have to admit, he really stepped it up yesterday, granted it was the first day but he woke the kids up, had their clothes laid out the night before, made them breakfast and all i had to do was wait for them to be picked up for school!! well besides getting myself ready for work and our two litte ones ready for daycare of course. but when i got home, he got them all bathed and helped me with the baby while i cooked supper and it went smooth!! lets just hope it stays that way!!
That sounds like he really
That sounds like he really has had a wake up call. It really hope it continues! That's the kind of input you have a right to expect. Don't be tempted to step in and start taking over - this is your opportunity to set a precedent for how things should be!