I live 3 completely differnt situations....

I have a daughter from my ex-dh.
I have a son from a relationship that I had when I was 16 years old.
I am re-married and now a step mom to two kids.

My ex dh and I and our spouses are all good friends and life is great.
My son's dad and I... not so much.
My dh's ex (the reason I joined this group) is one of the 'commom' bms you hear about on this site.

I keep hoping that my son's dad and my dh's ex will grow up and stop playing games.... I know in my heart that its not likely, but still I wait.

I love my dh more than anything and do not intend on walking... I know that his ex's issues are not with me... they are with ANYONE that dh is with.

I am fortunate enough to have a supportive, loving dh who has my back against anything....

If he wasn't who he is I think this whole thing would be so much harder to deal with.

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned"
-Budda

we all ask ourselves that question all the time. Why do we put up with it?

When is enough, really enough? For me, probably never. I have this great man with this "baggage" that at times can be unbearable.

But "things" can change. It's BM that won't change. Once I figured that out, it's starting to come a lot easier. I was waiting for her to "eventually come around". She probably NEVER will. She has so many issues that I think she's beyond repair. I'm to the point whether I question if she's even human...Just kidding. I'm just now learning that it's all about boundaries and to just not let her bs affect me so drastically. I'm the one that had to make some changes and start making myself healthy and slowly just snipping her out of my life.

Breaking point. When the bad outweighs the good is what I always tell myself. Not yet for me....

I believe that unless DH cheats, hits or abuses me I'm here for good. However, I probably should have thought of that 4 years ago I did however tell DH if we find out about another kid of his (he was a manwhore when he was younger) that I'm done, that's a deal breaker. AND he has to let me have AT LEAST one more kid and up to two more kids. I dunno I feel like my brain is fried today and I don't really have anything smart to contribute today...sorry!!!

Dawn

I told BF a long time ago that I wasn't going anywhere unless he told me to, so if this relationship ends it will either be of necessity or because he left me. I think we all know that if I was going to leave I probably would have done it by now. I'm in it for the long-haul.

I have asked myself from time to time how "worth it" all of this really is. Not only the crap from BM, but the crap from BF that he takes out on me when it's BM that he's mad at. But ultimately it will always be worth it because I love BF and SS more than those things bother me.

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

I don't talk to BM. I don't participate in visits from ss. I realized "YES, it's NEVER going to change! and it's driving me nuts!"
so I physically separated myself from the situation. I don't go to pickups/drop offs and I don't answer the phone when the caller ID tells me it's BM. SS only visits 4 days/mo, so it's fairly simple for me to be "out" or visiting others during that time. It's in NO WAY ideal, but when I realized that it was NEVER going to work and only make me feel like you are right now, I realized "hey, why? am I participating in something I can't fix, and has nothing to do with ME? Why have I been making this MY problem???" When BM and SS are out the picture life is great....and I can actually chose to take myself out of the equation if I chose. I don't deserve the crap, I don't deserve the abuse. Life is better, and none of it is my responsibility.