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is this typical behavior from a Stepdaughter?

usedup1's picture

Pre-Nuptial behavior---

Vocabulary of a future stepdaughter--

" She's just another Notch on your belt"

" I dont have to like her"!

"Daddy I love you"

"You took her Where? You've never taken me there"!

"Your always spending time with her"!

"Dad I love you"

"Daddy, I dont feel good, I think I have depression or something, I need you."!

"Dad I miss you..".

"She doesn't work as hard as I do, i have to work all the time, while she gets all the time she wants to spend with you"!

Stepdaughter to me-

"You will never care for him the way I do"!!
"I'm the only one who knows what he needs and I'm the only one who can care for him NOT YOU.."!!

Me to Stepdaughter-

"Dont you ever insult me again with your childish antics! I'm not taking anymore crap from you! You can start by taking care of yourself, and do not interfere with my relationship with your daddy"!!
I have not nor will I ever interfere with your relationship with your father! But... if you continue to act as his wife, you will have to deal with me"!!
I will not allow you to make me feel unworthy or powerless because of my compassion and kind spirit that I have coming into your fathers life! I wont allow you to change who I am into a jelous, spiteful and bitter woman because I chose to live your father"!
If your father doesn't back me up or stand with me on this, than I will gladly hand him his bottle and blanky and you can have him"!!!

Enough said.

Post Nuptial--

After 2 years of bliss because she's moved a State away, the toxicity is returning now with constant phone calls to him daily..
She's realizing that we are just having too good of a life?
Time to start the guilt trips, and remind daddy how much I love and miss him!

Long talks daily with him, over n over and here I go , allowing her to dictate my feelings and interrupt my life!

Im exhausted...

Comments

step off already's picture

Ss14 tried some of this crap with me. I told him that he was an 11 year old boy and u was a woman and that he and I were not in a competition for his father's love or time. We play two very different and important roles on his life and he needed to earn to get over it and deal with it because I was not going anywhere.

usedup1's picture

Whats really strange to me, is I dont see her having any respect for him. She doesn't act compassionate, she talks it?
Im beginning to believe with her that its a game of power?

I've told him once during a long drive and being interrupted with her calls that I've had ENOUGH!! I've also told my husband that every call he accepts from her, is hurting the relationship she has with her spouse!
She has a man in her life, and husband talking to her all day will destroy her relationship!! I dont think he gets it?
He's too needy obviously? So to have alot of sex you have to be turned on right? And husbands behavior certainly isnt turning me on right now!!!

usedup1's picture

Thank you for that reply!!!!
I've never had anyone make me feel like this?
I thought I set my boundaries at the beginning?
She makes me feel awkward around her too!
Im definitely not myself. I feel like an empty shell when she's around.

She's got a boisterous personality, and sucks the life out of me and the air out of any room she's in.

She not only demands attention from her dad but from any social gathering she's in.

I raised 3 wonderful children who have wonderful spouses , great careers, and never demanding of me. They are pure joys while witnessing this horrible dysfunction in my husbands life!

I never thought I could think and feel spiteful towards anyone's child?

IslandGal's picture

Hell,yeh! That's damned typical of mini-wives all right. I had to deal with one and it nearly did my head in!

Boundaries!! This is what saved us! That AND going to see a Counsellor. My DH was a typical disney dad unti he saw the Counsellor. When she made him see that he was actually having a relationship with his daughter, and had pushed me to one side, it really made him open his eyes. After he tried to have a talk with SD and the outcome was pretty much the same..

She said things like..

You need ME. I was the one that was ALWAYS there for you - I did everything and cared for you (she was 12 at the time).

You should respect ME. Respect has to be earned and I have earned YOURS - I don't need to respect YOU.

You love SS more than me (SS was 11) - you've changed and I don't know who you are any more.. whine..whine..waa waa bulshit!!

She never wanted her Dad to be in a relationship with ANYONE. She also had major problems when her grandma stayed wit them to help DH raise them as BM had abandoned them to "find herself" (more like so she could slut around). SD would challenge her Gma, argue with her and try to run the house herself.

Honestly, I think if it wasn't for the Counsellor, we wouldn't be together.

As it is, SD's attitude has worsened - she still believes she's in the right and that daddy should be crawling up her entitled, manipulative, controlling li'l ass.. and as long as I have anything to do with it - that'll NEVER HAPPEN.

SHE'S gonna be the one apologising to both DH and I before she even steps one foot back in our place.

usedup1's picture

Your exactly right! Respect is earned! I said that to my husband regardingh er 8 years ago! Now, she's 30 and needy, has obviously some sort of attachment disorder and knows how I feel now, and has started acting really nice to me in front of her dad to the point of being overboard!!

She's manipulating the situation again but this time with pure evil fakeness!
Its disgusting.. theres going to be more arguments between me and my husband now because again she's crossing boundaries and so is he.

I know this sounds aweful but I've actually thought of just blocking her number, because the 10 calls a day saying " what are you doing"! Will go away! I want to block her from husbands Facebook by pressing the unfollow button so he cant see her sappy posts about loving a father daily!

I know its wrong but somehow I feel better just thinking about it!!
Do you know what I mean???