My Step Moms Mantra
Dear BM - I’m not your priest, rabbi or confidante. We are not friends. What happened between you and your husband at that time is and will always remain between you and your ex-husband.
My husband is just that, my husband. I do not wish to share or discuss our relationship with you.
I will discuss, our kids, what they need, when they have to be someplace. I will not leave work, because they forgot homework. I will not accept bad attitudes, manipulations or just plain surly behavior. I will support, provide hugs and kiss boo-boos. I will provide a clean organized home. I will provide health meals, and will not alter meal plans because they don’t like it. I will set an example, by not discussing or talking about BM. I will do what I promise and honor my word.
And when all else fails, I will go to my room and get the voodoo doll out, close my eyes and release my frustrations! SM. 
- Victoria4338's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I love all of this except I
I love all of this except I will discuss 'our' kids. If I wrote this, I would say discuss 'your kids.' I have a problem calling skids 'my kids' or 'our kids.' That could be just my issue though.
must be my issue too then....
must be my issue too then....
You're a hell of a lot nicer
You're a hell of a lot nicer than me. I've had to tell my BM not to contact me ever again or I would get a TPO. Her kids are just as rotten as she is, so I let DH handle anything that needs handling and protect me from the bad smell that is his ex. After years of trying to provide support and hugs and kisses on boo-boos only get a hand to the face as they tell me to get bent, I have decided that my energies are best spent elsewhere (like on my own kids who are turning out to be productive members of society, unlike their doorstopper step-sisters). I started out trying to be the kind of SM that I would want for my kids. I didn't realize how little of the outcome was actually under my control.
Man, I sound like Debbie Downer. Sorry about that!
No you don't. You sound like
No you don't. You sound like a rational women, who has been thrown into a situation that is completely out of your control. My Mantra is just that something I repeat in my head, that i try to life by. but i'm not always successful. I'm in the same situation with my Ex and his wife. Who i am convenience is psycho. She has call the police on me more times than I can count. For things like, we where 5 min late because of traffic, or when she filed a complaint with the police because I called her a Bipolar, schizophrenic, white trash, F’n b. And got it wrong. I didn't say f’n b, just B. Really get it right. The local PD was called to my home so many times, most of the guys on the force are on my holiday list. No joke. She should be institutionalized.
I agree with Hungry. The only
I agree with Hungry. The only apart I'd change is the "our" kids.
The "our kids" topic seems to
The "our kids" topic seems to be a waiving a red flag in front of a charging bull thing for many BioParents.
To me it is just a fact. If I am married to one of the parents then the SKids are MY kids as much as they are anyones. I will never call myself their BioDad but I will also not call myself their StepDad. To my Skid, I am and always have been just .... Dad. His choice, from before he turned 2yo.
Interestingly he calls me Dad when he is bantering with his co-workers. He refers to his SpermIdiot as "Gangster Dad" when he is telling family stories during slow times at work.. When I meet his coworkers invariably one of them will comment that I must be Dad and not Gangster Dad.
When they recount some of the stories SS has told them and they have gotten the dads confused it is truly funny.
IMHO being a parent has nothing to do with biology.
Clarification. My use of
Clarification. My use of the word “Our” was intentional and flippant . Since BM and BD expectations of me is to help with school work, drop off and pick up. Do all the things the Bio’s are supposed to do. Then I have EARNED the right to have a say. If you don’t want my opinion. Then do not ask me to step up and parent. It is beyond ridiculous that as a Step I’m ask to help out, but dismissed as a Step when I don’t agree with their parenting style and the consequences for SKIDS misbehaving.