I hope this helps someone out there!

I live in the state of Wisconsin and ended up going though a situation that cost me thousands in legal fees because I was not aware of the state law that allows for grandparents to seek custody of the birth children of a biological/adoptive child who passes away.

My exhusband passed away several years ago and left 4 biological children. My ex had limited visitation with 2 out of 4 of the children and every other weekend visits. There was domestic abuse during the marriage and my ex had gone to extreme measures during the divorce from attempts to seek sole custody, terminate his rights, claiming that the children were not his etc for 3 years. This added up to ALOT of paperwork, notes, letters ect. There was a restraining order against him, which to me explains his constant attempts to gain access to me and the kids. THREE days after his death (not the funeral) I recieved paperwork from the court that my ex inlaws were attempting to gain 50/50 custody of the then 4 pre-teen children.

DO NOT EVER THROW anything away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had allowed the children to go to the very same grandparents for the night to be able to be with family members on their father's side of the family in order to plan the funeral and such. During that time my H and I decided to have a bomb fire and I threw all of the divorce paperwork, threatening letters, and such from my ex into the fire. Pictures of the abuse that had been taken at the shelter along with some letters from my ex demanding that I not allow his parents to spend time with the kids even over holidays.

Getting rid of these things was one of the stupid things that I have done over my life. I could have saved thousands if I had that paperwork, those things would have proved my ex's feelings about his parents and his wishes, not that I agreed with him but I could have shut the court issue down without the cost.

To explain the type of crazy my ex was (Ex Inlaws are the same type of crazy), at the time of his death we were in the middle of a court battle over the following. This took over a 2 year period and the entire time my ex had full coverage insurance and my husband stepfather to the children also had full coverage which was secondary (which means that it wont cover until the first insurance was refused - but we couldnt even get to that point)

Original court order states that BF was to provide for the children's health and dental insurance. BF refused to provide me copies of insurance papers or cards - per ex order claims that he has to have insurance and cards for the kids but not that he has to give them to me, who has primary placement.

First round in court the judge ordered him to provide me the cards, Ex gave me the cards - BUT - they had information scratched out on them so the clinic would not accept them to cover the children's expences. This of course cost me legal fees/ time off of work etc.

Second round in court the judge ordered the ex to give the cards that were not damaged. costing me additional legal fees/ time off of work etc.

Third round in court the judge ordered that my ex could not refuse to allow me to use the insurance cards unless he was present and ex claimed that he needed to have prior knowledge of appointment time and reasons for the expences. Judge ordered the ex to release the cards so that I could use them without him being presnt. Ex had contacted our local clinic along with his insurance company telling them that the only parties able to use the cards for services were himself and his then wife, which meant that when I took the children in for services they were not being covered - I had even attempted to show the clinic the court order and that did not work.

Fourth attempt in court was when he passed away, this left services for four children that were not being covered, judge ordered that he could not go after a dead man for insurance card etc. and that I would have to go after his estate for costs of services.

5th attempt in court - Took estate to court to cover services. No will so current wife, not kids gets the entire estate along with the house. Court determins that I need to attempt to get 2nd insurance to cover since BF is dead, 2nd refuses so all services go on my credit report as over due and not paid. Told by attorny that I can not sue ex's current wife, she has no responsiblity for children.