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Back and Forth

VioletsareBlue's picture

Submitted by VioletsareBlue on Fri, 05/31/2013 - 9:44am

So over the years I've gone back and forth with SD17 and not minding her being around and then really disliking her being around and in my face all the time.
Recently (last few months), I've found it better for ME to interact with her. I don't feel like such a bitch. She was working a lot and finishing high school so she wasn't around all that much (helped a lot!).

Now she is done with high school and is around ALL THE TIME. I can't stand it. I want her OUT OF MY HOUSE! Not sure how I will get through the next couple of months when I feel annoyed when she is around. Ugh!

Any advice?

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VioletsareBlue's picture

Submitted by VioletsareBlue on Fri, 05/31/2013 - 11:50am

Here's the thing that drags me down every time. She is not a bad skid. Has she done stupid shit and hurt me... yes. But she is genuinly sorry when she is called on it.

This really is about me and my intolerance. We didn't have skids in the house full time the first couple of years, then she came to live with us because her mother is a jackass.

Yes she has some boundary issues with DH and she tends to act younger than she is sometimes, I want my life back! I want my alone time with DH back! I'm so sick of having kids in the house.

She has a summer job. I work outside the home. We come home at night and she is all up in our shit. Wanting time with daaadddeeeeeyyyyyy because, god forbid, the cord gets cut. Thank goodness she is leaving the house to live in the dorms in 2.5 months. She will be in our town and DH has made it clear that there will be no coming over uninvited. Last night she said, "I'll be home every tuesday night for dinner and family time." I think part of her was kidding but part of her was hoping we would agree to that, which we did not.

I get it, I really really try to get it. If she were my kid I wouldn't mind her being around so much. But she isn't my kid and I find her incredibly annoying.

This is my dilemma and my guilt. Not a bad kid just clingy and annoying. I just don't want her around.

VioletsareBlue's picture

Submitted by VioletsareBlue on Fri, 05/31/2013 - 12:34pm

My BFF is also a stepmom and thank goodness we have each other. She told me this today:

I truly believe it is the burden and agony of step families. DH has not had to deal too much with it except the occasional DS21 bits. But from what I hear from you, see from her DH and feel myself, it is near impossible to love other peoples children. We can care for their safety and be concerned for their welfare as we would anyone's children. Yet, like anyone else's children, when you are forced to spend an extended amount if time with them it is annoying and tiresome. Think of any other animal species, the adults are not okay with raising the spawn of others and oftentimes eat them if they try to move in Wink