She will survive the disappointment

SD17 has been planning a road trip to CA with her BFF for a couple of months.
BFF has helicopter parents (her mother would go to the high school every day to have lunch with said BFF). BFF had to push the trip back a week because she would miss her dad's birthday ( :? ). Now she told SD17 that she can't leave on the 14th because that Sunday is Father's Day (seriously??!!). BFF is telling SD17 that she doesn't think her parents will let her drive and that she should just probably fly.

SD17 is, justifiably, angry with her friend and told her that she was leaving on the 14th and if BFF decided to fly into LA on Monday that SD17 would pick her up.

DH said that he would make SD17 leave Thursday and spend the night in a hotel (not do the journey in 1 day by herself). I pointed out to him several things:

1. She is not 18, she cannot get a hotel room by herself.
2. An inexperienced, 17 year old, single young woman driving over 800 miles BY HERSELF is NOT A GOOD IDEA! It's inviting all kinds of trouble! No damn way this should happen.

DH is oblivious or acts that way. I knew he would think about it and realize the wisdom of my words.

This morning I was thinking, "I bet he comes up with a stupid idea of driving out there with SD17 then flying home."

Low and behold he sends me an email today asking me to check on flights back home from LA. I checked, told him the price and said, "We can't afford it". There is no damn way that is going to happen.

I understand not wanting your child to be disappointed but GIVE ME A BREAK! I want her to leave for 10 days MORE THAN ANYONE but not at the expense of her getting hurt or worse and not at the expense of my bank account.

I'm so mad about it!

VioletsareBlue's blog
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The BFF is 18. If they were

The BFF is 18. If they were both going they would share the driving and drive straight through. But he said he wouldn't let her drive straight through if it were just her. My opinion was that she shouldn't make the drive by herself at all, it's asking for trouble.

He hasn't called the BFF's parents. Maybe he should.

EXACTLY

Yeah, call the BFF parents. I

Yeah, call the BFF parents. I find it very odd that helicopter parents are willing to let their Darling Daughter drive to CA for 10 days.

I suspect it is something fishy going on.

The BFF parents will not let

The BFF parents will not let her go afterall. That is what is causing the problems. The two gals made all these plans and then BFF's parents won't let her drive to CA with SD17.

Which is a very logical and

Which is a very logical and loving thing to do. If these girls are not street savvy and able to take care of themselves them CA will have to wait a few years won't it?

SD17 will not die. And ask SO how he would look on TV allowing his 17 yr old daughter to travel to CA for 10 days ALONE if/when she goes missing or gets into trouble.

I should have said, that the

I should have said, that the plans FOR CA involve relatives all the time: aunts, uncles, grandparent.
It's the drive that concerns me.

I see your anger and fury. I

I see your anger and fury. I guess since I was on my own at 17 and frequently made long car trips alone, I don't see the big deal, but that was ME. This is a stepkid we're talking about. While I'd trust a certain level to my DD15, I wouldn't trust a THING to stepdevil14...

Just depends on the kid really. If she's responsible and mature, I'd let her go. If not, no ffffing way!

She is book smart and fairly

She is book smart and fairly responsible but would totally panic and not make good decisions if faced with an emergency while on the road by herself.

Then she doesn't go alone.

Then she doesn't go alone. Sorry! BOOOOOOOO, she'll have to just get over it.

AND I hate to admit this

AND I hate to admit this because it seems petty but it hit me that I'm also taken aback by the notion that he would just decide to take a day off work and spend all this money to make sure she can go on this trip, because God forbid she is disappointed! AND I don't want him to go. I want him to stay home with ME. AND weekends are now spent with SD8 since it is summer. So ... who is going to take care of SD8 while he goes to CA for a day and a night? Not me.

He was doing this damn chuckle thing on the phone when I pointed out that she might just have to be disappointed and not go. Too many things can happen if she drove alone. It pissed me off and made me feel horrible that he was laughing at me. I started to get very emotional so I just hung up.

He emailed me and said he was "chuckling" because "your whole attitude, oh well life’s not fair she will get over it. And your outlook on a her being raped and killed. Really even if BFF was there think it would make a difference. I’m more concerned about her falling asleep than anything else. She gets gas at major stops, that are well lit. If something happens to the car she calls roadside service through the insurance.
Am I concerned about her driving by herself, yes I am but I am willing to let her try."

Anyway .. I told him I had said my piece, fuck you for laughing at me, I'm done with this whole damn thing.