Thank you everyone for your comments, it is helpful and I don't feel so alone.
The latest developments;
BM is at work and the kids are alone at home doing nothing, they told us that they would like to go to day camp because they are bored and want to make new friends that are not connected with BM. This is because BM badmouths us to their friends parents, says awful things about us which result in the kids parents not wanting their own kids to come over to our home. Everything was agreed via lawyers, we paid for the day camp so the kids could go as we do every summer. BM is now refusing them to go when they are with her and she is at work, but put them on a different camp for them to attend while they are with us. She told the kids that this way she will have something to hang over our heads in court.
Last week during the custody exchange, she stood on the other side of a busy street, screaming for the kids to run to her and yelling insults at us. The kids wouldn’t let go of our hands, we calmed them down and crossed the street with them. BM continued to lash out at the kids because they didn’t do as she told them and badmouths us to them. She shoved them in the car and proceeded to follow us around town. It is heartbreaking to see the kids in such a bad situation.
BM is again refusing to let the kids bring their belongings to our home, or to drive them to the third party exchange location. She has threatened the kids that if they disobey her, she will get mad, punish them and ground them. SS said that she doesn’t want to make BM angry because he doesn’t know what she would do and is scare.
BM finally signed a consent form to allow the younger SD to go for counselling, l lawyers, doctors and CPS had to get involved to achieve it. The CPS counselling after meeting with her is refusing to provide services to the kids. Why? Because they know she is not onboard with it, and they don’t want to waist their time when one of the parents is not going to support the counselling or child.
BM is once again not following the custody agreement and changes the drop off times and location for the kids, when they are coming to our home, as she feels like it.
We inform Children Protection Services (CPS) about every incident; they put a family service plan in place to help the situation that BM doesn’t follow . CPS keeps giving BM second chances, and nothing improves. In fact, the situation continues to deteriorate. It feels as CPS is completely useless and is not doing anything to help the kids. It shouldn’t be this hard to get the kids help.
In August we are going back to court because she filed a motion for full custody of the kids. We have 50/50 custody.
WTF!?! I’m so frustrated that I want to scream.