“ She’s just a kid “ is an excuse

People say that no matter how terrible my skid is acting in the moment. Just because she's a kid doesn't mean she shouldn't be punished and have rules, regardless of their age or *their feelings*.

i can't seem to tell anyone my feelings or experiences because "she's just a kid" just gets thrown out there( like it makes her actions or behavior any less wrong). Skids dad (my bf) does the poor shnookums thing all of the time, he always thinks everything is too harsh or mean because of his past trauma and childhood. I have to remind him that this isn't just skids safe place and her feelings aren't the only ones that matter. But he seems to forget that on the daily. Cool skid you got some feelings? Fucking same , but the same basic rules apply to you to do quit acting like an asswipe.

Her dad throws out the "she's just a kid card" all of the god damn time no matter how terrible she is. No she's not just a kid shes fucking terrible (skid told dad she likes causing fights because it's fun). Little fucking physco if you ask me but sure she's just a kid....or satan.

wasabi's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

It really depends on the kid

It really depends on the kid's age.. and the age appropriateness (or inappropriateness) of what is happening.

A toddler spills their drink at dinner.. yes it's a mess... but kids aren't super coordinated with a drink.. hence the need for sippy cups... and cups with lids in restaurants right?

Kids do stupid stuff.. because they don't know any better... but there comes a time when consequences turn from learning what is appropriate to punishment for doing things the child KNOWS are inappropriate.

You would have a different response to a 5 year old vs a 14 year old scribbling on the walls right?

So...it's possible your response is "outsized" to the incident.. which leads to the "she is just a kid" to try to get you to pull it back.

It also may be a sign that you need to not be involved in "parenting" their child.. let them handle it.. as long as your partner does not make you fix what their kid ruins.. messes up.. it's up to them to parent. Sure.. you can stop the kid from putting their hand on a stove if parent is not present.. but otherwise.. it's not your job to handle it.. and if the kid is doing something they shouldn't.. just let your so take care of it.

Again.. we don't know whether you are talking about a 5 yo.. a 10 year old.. or a 17 year old... obv expectations for behavior would vary widely.. and the "just a child" excuse gets old.. the older they are.

That's the type of attitude

That's the type of attitude that makes little kids think they can do whatever they want just because of their age. And it's it's my house too so I can tell them to stop scribbling on the wall. You can just live with someone and not have skid from hell be removed enough to not have to parent.

My God.... I am not saying

My God.... I am not saying that a small child doesn't have to be taught.. or even given consequences for their actions.. or be told to not do things that are destructive.. I am saying that any reasonable person would have different expectations for behavior depending on the child's age.. It also means that since little kids "don't know any better".. in a lot of ways... they need to be SUPERVISED more closely to stop them doing things that are wrong, destructive or dangerous. I'm not saying you get to just excuse it with a "they are just a child".. but never do a thing to TEACH the child right from wrong.

Of course, you can tell them to stop writing on the wall... sure.. if your SO is telling you that you can't tell the kid to stop destroying your property.. he better do a better job of being present and stopping it himself. But if you are screaming at the kid and losing your cool with them.. your reaction may be outsized and unhinged.. and for that.. you may hear the "they are just a kid"..

I don't know how old your stepchild is.... if you are calling a 3 year old "satan" for spilling their juice.. I would probably advise you to leave your relationship because no child needs to grow up with someone that has toxic feelings towards them in their home.. (yes.. if you are with their partner.. who lives there..it is their home.. at least during visitation). But if your skid is much older and not acting according to general expectations for their age.. then you have a partner problem.. they are a poor parent.. and unless you fix your SO's parenting (and their ability to expect to offset the other parent's poor parenting if that's the case).. then it will be difficult to fix the kid.

Children aren't born knowing what to do.. when to do it and how to do it... they need people to teach them respect for property.. learn to tie their own shoes.. learn to read.. it's a big learning exercise.. for almost 2 decades.. it is up to the parent to teach their blank space how to be a good person.. if the kid isn't... it's the failing of the parent generally. (though.. there can be other influences..parental is usually key though)