Have to ask.........does the BM get worse after marriage?
We just got married one month ago. Honestly, there haven't been any big problems in the past month, but it feels like the calm before the storm. Something just feels eerily "not right". Our BM has been on a campaign for the past three years to make my life a living hell, and I guess to break us up. She was really bad when we first started dating, then one year later when we got engaged, she kicked it up a notch. Thankfully, all her words/actions have totally turned DH around when it comes to her and he has been extremely respectful of my feelings for the past year. I can honestly say that, when it comes to BM, my DH does NOTHING to piss me off. A friend of mine told me that BM put on her FB page yesterday (our one month anniversary) this quote: "Just when you remember the reasons why you loved me and want me back, there may be someone lying beside me who already knows...." something like that.
I'm not sure she is even referring to DH, as she has many, many relationships in the seven years they've been divorced.
I have asked some of my remarried friends this question, and so far, I've gotten the same answer: Yes, the BM got worse.
That's why my username on here is what it is: WeddedBliss.sofar
Please tell me about your experiences if it pertains. We're so happy right now, still in the "honeymoon phase". Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but I can't forget the old saying: If it feels too good to be true, it probably is......
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Our BM got a tad worse. She
Our BM got a tad worse. She def. filed to take away all custody shortly after our marriage. She has caused numerous problems and told me I should have never married DH if I didn't want to deal with her, etc. She still thinks she is the center of DH's universe and we should all do everything to keep her happy but that was before marriage also.
She did call numerous times
She did call numerous times on our wedding day. DH had his phone off, (per my instructions) and she left several messages for the skids to call her. She said the skids were to call her EVERY DAY (we'd been gone for ten days - destination wedding), and this was no special day to her, so please have them call her ASAP. We had them call her the next day. As for her attempting to do anything with the custody issues - no worries there....She LOVES that we have them 50% of the time, and sometimes asks us to keep them more.
Maybe, it has finally sunk in??? That DH is with ME now, forever.
One can only hope.......
The BM is waving the red flag
The BM is waving the red flag of PAS for sure. It will surely escalate; these BMs seldom "realize that biodad has moved on."
Their aim now is to break up biodad and SM via the skids. This is the most common scenario of all.
Your DH will be given an ultimatum by BM in the days, weeks, years to come. And that is chose either your children or SM.
Thanks, and you're probably
Thanks, and you're probably right.
OH, and I love your signature quotes!
The first one pertains to BM - she left DH for another, who then left her a couple months later.
The second one pertains to ME regarding the BM.
Ours started her PAS as soon
Ours started her PAS as soon as I moved in. All bets were off. Fast forward and she has custody of one and as of today we have custody of the other. Neither child has a relationship with the other parent. She is a witch and I hope she is miserable now...
Trust your "gut." And to
Trust your "gut."
And to answer your question? 99.9% of the time, "YES!"
I'm not married to GG (biodad I live with); don't ever intend to be since he has shown his true colours more often than I care to think about AND since the Behemoth (BM) is UBER greedy!
The PAS in my case started the NANOSECOND after GG and the Behemoth broke up. Of course GG was too naive to realize this despite my warnings. To him I was just "paranoid" and "jealous" of the Behemoth. Yeah right. ANd now he has three PASed out children under the age of 15; the oldest two for 3 1/2 years, the youngest for two years.
For your marriage to work, your DH HAS to make boundaries with the BM and make sure he HOLDS HER ACCOUNTABLE for any alienation tactics that she will (notice I didn't say "may") employ.
Awareness (of the BM's crap), United Front with you (traditional parenting) and making boundaries with the BM/skids is the "three legged stool" that will provide a firm foundation for your marriage to flourish upon.