DH was also in the car, and injured pretty badly (thrown about 100 feet). This was 1995. This was to be their first child. DH was devastated by the deaths and decided he didn't want to try to have any more children. DH marries BM in 1998, he was 34, BM was 24. BM agreed - no children. Well, two years later, BM is pregnant (anti-biotic excuse), and a year and a half later, along comes skid #2.

Now, my issue is this: DH's first wife had life insurance. A significant amount of money in a trust and DH gets a payment every other year until he is 79.

After DH divorced BM (wife #2), he revised his will so that his mother and sister will be executors of this trust. Now that we are married (one month ago) DH is suggesting revising his will again to include me, and possibly remove his mother since chances are she will pass before him. DH placed me as his beneficiary of his life insurance policy two years ago after we got engaged, so I know I will be well taken care of if something happens to him (God forbid). But this trust money - I just don't know about this........ I don't know if I want the responsibility of this money - to determine if the skids are meeting the requirements of the very detailed document. For instance, if they enroll in college, skids are entitled to "some" money, if they do not go to college, they have to be 25 before they receive any money. I just don't know if I will even have a relationship with the skids if something happens to DH. Not that I wouldn't WANT to, but that BM - she would hate it. But, DH and I agree that BM could not have anything to do with this money, since we know the skids will never benefit from it. I don't know what the right solution is? We are thinking of just having DH's sister and her hubby have control, because she is the Aunt, and we know she will think of the best needs of the skids - and she hates BM just as much as we do. But, my DH also has faith in me, that the money will be used for college, and if there's no college, then it is at my discretion to decide if skids get money and how much. If they are working, supporting themselves, leading productive lives, etc....

This all makes me kinda anxious.... What should I do? I certainly don't want to appear greedy to BM, skids, or anybody else. I just don't want the headache - and skids are young still. When they are older, they may come to hate me and I might just decide to go buy myself a small island somewhere....