You are here

FIRST TIME STEP MOMMA-ING WITH A SURPRISE ON THE WAY

whatsgoingon7's picture

Hey guys,

sooo...as you guys can already tell from my header it's my first time here so pleease bare with me as even though im behind a computer screen i am SUPER DUPER nervous. So... just a little intro about myself... i am a 31 year old momma of 3... and have recently become a step mother of 4 more beauties who won my heart i think faster than their father did! (hahaha) recently we've been going through some things due to the fact that we are now trying to gain full custody of the kids because of issues at home with their mother...well their biological mother..just simply NOT BEING A MOTHER..or even a DECENT HUMAN BEING...(now i dont say these things because "i dont like her", i say these things because if you dont feed your children I really dont think you should have any...am i wrong?) well...that being said my bf and I have now decided that it was time to take action and thats exactly what we did, and are doing....so one day im thinking to myself ..... well "whatsgoingon7" youve been so wrapped up in this outside world and everyone around you...but what happened to taking care of YOU...tell me "whatsgoingon7" WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD YOUR PERIOD....(suspensful music plays in my head & BOOM) .... 4 DOLLAR TREE PREGANCY TEST & 3 CLEAR BLUE "6 DAYS EARLIER" TESTS LATER..... IM PREGNANT !! or so the 6 tests say.... so moral of this whole story is.... what do i do??? 7 kids total... court dates to come... how do i make this blended family work??? how do i tell my spouse... HEY BABE IM PREGNANT IN THE MIDDLE OF ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT, STRESSFUL TIMES OF YOUR/OUR LIVES..... i just need a little insight here before i drive myself insane. 

Comments

shamds's picture

You're in a serious relationship with this guy so just tell him. I'm not into the over dramatic hoo haa announcements to my husband that we are pregnant.

when I suspect we are because of nausea or missed period etc, hubby buys a pregnancy test on the way back home from work and we test. Its positive and i just tell him. 
so just tell him and take it from there.

Harry's picture

And you really don't have a good case.  And lose. She is going to make life hell for you.  Through the kids.  So you better get everything in order before starting a expensive fight,  Hope you have a home that is big  enough and has bed rooms for 7 kids.   Is DH paying CS to BM ?  

whatsgoingon7's picture

yes he is paying CS every week and on time. its more than just the not feeding them though...im trying my hardest to stay on the low and not make it seem like im involved but i know being with him its automatically known i have a part in it. trust me i wouldnt want to take anyones children without good cause...i know what its like to grow up without a parent actively present. & YES !!! a home for 7 kids.... plus 1 on the way ! i think this is where my stress is coming from right now !! 

JRI's picture

Congratulations on your new little one.  You are going to be one busy lady.

I don't have a lot of advice, the experienced Steptalkets are giving you good words.  But if I were seeing a tough custody case ahead, I'd be making notes somewhere about events, like "(date) ChildA mentioned hunger issues (add detail)", "(date) ChildB said xyz about potty training ( add detail)", "(date) BM was absent ( add detail)".  In other words, document things that will prove your case.  

You ate probably going to have one, expensive shot to get custody so have your best proof ready.  Good luck.

CLove's picture

On your impending bundle of joy! Wowzer. I have no bios of my own, but can just imagine the work involved. 

Good luck getting custody -  BM has to be a drug addicted, homeless felon pretty much for them to take away kiddos from bio mother. But good for your SO for at least trying.

Keep reading here and posting. It will be a long rough ride.