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Long time no vent

Where2Begin's picture

I've not posted on here often and not for a while too, but I do visit regular. So many of the events and dynamics that have transpired in my family the past 5 or so years are still something I am not comfortable with opening up about in a public format. Just typing "my family" or seeing it on this screen doesn't feel right. It is like it is a phrase I'm using just to try to fit in. Ever feel like a renter? Or ever feel like a renter who has an occassional guest in a residence where guests' are frowned upon. (guest=my teenage son). I digress. I was actually going to simply vent about a couple incidental SK things that have erked me these past few days. Back to it...

Over the labor day weekend DH, SD10, and I flew up to visit my DH's mother and sister. Although we've been together 7 years, this is only the second time that I've met his family. Last summer was the first time. The 5 years we dated before marrying, I don't even believe they knew I existed. This has always been a sore spot for me, but I'm digressing again. LOL I can't even get to a minor incident without hijacking my own post with one of the more sensitive issues.

Anyway where I was going with this is that we were at DH's sister home for dinner and SD10 was going to stay overnight with her 9yo cousin. Later in the evening the two girls change into they PJ's. At one point SD10's aunt asks to come closer to see what her shirt said. SD10 comes over to let her see her shirt. Aunt asks her where she got it and she said "My dad got it for me." What??? I gave her that shirt. It was a shirt that I had in one of my drawers for couple of years because it was too small. When cleaning out I came across it and gave it to her. DH was sitting right there and did not say a word of correction. Later I did ask her to step around the couch so I too could see what shirt she was wearing. She did and I said, "oh that is the shirt I gave you" and she replied 'yeah', but by then the aunt and others who heard her original answer had moved on with other conversations and did not even notice her acknowledgement.

The other thing, SD10's 11th birthday is at the end of next week. I overheard DH tell his sister that DS10's birthday party is this coming weekend. This coming weekend is her weekend at our house. Then yesterday I hear him telling DS10 after checking his voicemail which one of her friends had RSVP'd. He has not even mentioned a party to me. Last year she had a swim party and sleep over while at our house. I assume she also had a celebration of some kind at/with BM as well. I would like to assume that this weekend's party is not at our house. I'll be pissed if at the stage he casually mentions a pool party at the house to me. Not that I don't want the child to have a birthday party, but how self-absorbed and inconsiderate to not inform your wife when you a planning an event such as a birthday party, be it at the house or at some other place.

Sigh...later...

Comments

Where2Begin's picture

Maybe if asked about by DH what I'm getting by SD10 for her birthday, I'll say the shirt she was wearing the other night at her aunt's, given that for neither BS's 18th birthday and graduation from high school a couple months ago BS got nothing from DH..not even the words "happy bd" or so much as a "congratulations"

Sia's picture

sounds like he is completely into his daughter and not into you or your son. DH's can be such boobs sometimes!

StepAbove's picture

My DH does love my son, I know he does. But he doesn't worship the ground he walks on like he does his precious daughters. Of course one of those precious daughters is my daughter also. But, you can see the difference. I know we feel different with our own vs SKs, but, I try super hard to not show the difference. Why can't he do the same right?

I would definatley tell DH that her present is what ever he's getting her. Would he really expect you to spend more money on her BD and he didn't even have the common curtosey to Congraluate your son on an actual huge acheivement?