Only 10 months - Who do I despice more? My stepson or My husband ?
Only 10 months into my marriage and already headed to divorce court! I have a long history with my husband. We both are on marriage no. 2 and "This Was Suppose to be it"! WRONG ANSWER!!! Here comes the stepson from HELL & he's wearing gasoline drenched briefs!! My life is a living NIGHTMARE because of this boy! I have both three girls into what's turned into a "Blended Cluster F--K". we have three children in our home, my girls and "Hellboy / SS). When he's at his mother's house (which isn't often enough), it is peaceful and enjoyable. When he returns, all hell breaks loose. His father refuses to see this boy for the manipulating, lying, punk that he is! Though a great part of me would like to just blame the boy; I'm not stupid!! This boy is the way that he is because of the way his mother and my husband have raised him. Or should I say, "The lack of raising". The biggest issue in our home is the fact that we have chores and responsibilities. My children are not allowed to sit around and do nothing. This boy has NEVER been required to do anything! Therefore, when I give him instruction to do anything he doesn't want to do, he goes running to daddy saying I'm being mean to him. Meanwhile, daddy actually has the nerves to question me about instructions that I (the adult) gave a child! I have tried many times over the course of our marriage (yes all 10 $omths-ha! Ha!) To bring my concerns to my husband's attention. This however, falls on DEAF ears until of course the little shit complains about something I asked or told him to do. And wouldn't you know it, THEN my husband wants to talk. My husband repeatedly tells me that I have to fix this. On the contrary, I don't have to fix shit!! He needs to grow some balls and stop trying to be this punks friend!! Be a freaking adult and put your no-mannered child in his place. I am TIRED, FRUSTRATED and DISGUSTED!! I have asked him to go to counseling, but "YEP" you guessed it! He's not going because he nor his child are the problem or have a problem! It looks like we are not going to make it to our 1st anniversary. On the contrary; we will be heading to court. I'm just TIRED of fighting for a marriage, a family and a husband ALL BY MYSELF.
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OMG! Are you living in my
OMG! Are you living in my house? This is the exact behavior that occurs in my house. My stepson is the MASTER of lies and manipulation! He has been caught in lies big & small; long & short; those that revolve around no level of importance and even lies that could have a literal life & death consequence. I mean this literaally b/c he has a medical condition which could very easily kill him if it is not monitored and controlled but what difference does that make to the SS or DH........None! Dad finds a way to justify, explain & excuse even those lies. Meanwhile I find myself always on the defensive b/c SS will lie about something; he is a master of twisting or eliminating facts. Especially those that incriminate him. And no matter how many times this happens and is bought to my husbands attention he always finds a way to try to make it "my fault".
This is a constant occurrence
This is a constant occurrence in my house. It has gotten to a point in my house that I "no longer" address my stepson unless it is ABSOLUTELY necessary. I am tired of being questioned about directions/instructions which are given to "a child". I have tried explaining to my husband that this behavior is a "green light" to this boy to continue this type of behavior. It amazes me that as bright & intuitive as my husband is; he is too damn stupid to see that this child is manipulating him and ultimately ruining our marriage!
Same here. DH used to do that
Same here. DH used to do that to me ALL the time. No one else has ever even attempted to correct or corral this kid at all. DH is a pushover idiot, MIL is just insane with obsession and praises this kid nonstop and excuses his behavior by saying he is just all boy or just really strong willed, which is a good thing you know according to her, and BM is just a lazy useless waste of space that does NOTHING but let him run all over her. I live in the real world. My world has not always revolved around keeping this brat happy, so when something was wrong, I would call it as I saw it, and dare I say, EXPECT DH to, I don't know, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!! I would either get questioned or totally undermined by DH all the while skid is smiling with glee about how I got in "trouble" and he didn't. I disengaged out of sheer survival I think.
The degenerate is 15 years
The degenerate is 15 years old but has the maturity level of a 5 year old child. You can't get him to pick up a book; video games are his life. This is a direct result from the "lack" of parenting from the BM and DH. I'm simply tired of this ignorant child and my simple minded husband for not being able to see through this boys Bull!
Put the kid on ignore. Like
Put the kid on ignore. Like literally do not speak to him or acknowledge that he exists. Treat him as if he is a dog that hangs around the house. Throw him a few kibbles twice a day. }:) }:) }:)
I generally retreat to my
I generally retreat to my bedroom when I'm at home. It's very difficult to ignore him even through the walls because he is so LOUD and OBNOXIOUS! I just wish this kid would retreat to his mother's residence. But of course, that's not going to happen! She abandoned him when she left my husband (maybe now I understand why). This kid is at our house three out of four weeks of the month. He generally goes there when he's pissed at me; which in turns makes my husband pissed at me because he feels like I'm coming between he and his idiot son. I'd like to through his behind off a bridge! }:)
This happened because the
This happened because the biological parent's failed to raise my SS with any measure of discipline, expectations, or manners. He has been babied his entire life. Prior to my marriage, my husband and I did not live together, however, my SS did live with his dad. The BM abandoned both the child and my husband. I only had encounters with this child on rare occasion on the weekends when we would take the children out. Yes, I noticed behavior which I felt warranted attention and/or correction but I never had to deal with this child on a long-term basis for any reason. Once my husband and I married, because the SS was already living with dad, he continued to stay with us. Perhaps, at that point reality set in for him that his biological parents were not getting back together; I'm not sure what thoughts were going through this child's head. Therefore, I did not understand the level of manipulation and deceit this child was capable of, nor did I understand my husband's level of ignorance to this kids ability to lie, deceive, and manipulate.
Yes, I remember the time when "PARENTS BEHAVED LIKED PARENTS AND NOT THEIR CHILD'S FRIEND OR BUDDY"!!!!!!!!
Apparently, I mistakenly stated the number of children who live in my house.......When you add my husband, I have four (4)! :?
At the end of my rope! For
At the end of my rope! For the last two months I have consistently tried talking to my husband about my SS's lack of respect for me;following my instructions and just simply having NO manners. Every time I bring something up to him he acts as if he is in the damn twilight zone! He supposedly has these "Private" conversations with his son and addresses my concern. However, these conversations NEVER occur in my presence and this kid never has to apologize for ANYTHING. I keep telling him that this approach is not changing nor addressing the issues at hand. All it does is add fuel to this kids fire, allowing him to feel like he has his dad's permission to keep exhibiting this bad behavior. This kid does NOTHING......his father enforces NOTHING, and my husband thinks he can use my girls to play the role of maid and housekeeper. This kid lives to play video games and lounge around listening to inappropriate music. Now get this, I instructed my girls not to do any of the chores which are the SS's responsibility. I knew my husband was going to come home and try to make them do these chores because he has no requirements for his son. Therefore, I told both of girls to very respectfully say to him, "daddy, mommy told us not to do.....and to have you call her if there were questions". Of course, he did not call but when I got home he was all in a tizzy because I placed him in an embarrassing position by having the girls defy his authority! My question to him at this point was, "so do we have double standards and special provisions for who follows the rules and who is allowed to be disrespectful"? He had a "deer in headlights look" at this point. Of course all he could say at this point was don't do it again. Well, I am nobody's push over and responded with, I don't know who YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO, but understand this: I will not have my children doing things that you feel don't apply to your son. If he wants to have a "special" set of rules for my SS, then I can make special rules for my children. I am TIRED of this foolishness. I have asked for counselling, I have tried to have a rational adult conversation, I have tried showing him how his rules are different for the son; and I'm using very specific examples. WHY is this man refusing to acknowledge that our marriage is in serious jeopardy? Why does he not see his son is a major problem and why is he so bull headed?
I love my husband and want my marriage to work but, I am so ready to just walk away.......
WELL, he's at it AGAIN!!!!
WELL, he's at it AGAIN!!!! Just when I thought I could learn to ignore my SS and live with my husbands idiotic behavior and obvious blind side when it comes to his demon child; Satan himself becomes the spy of the house and actually lies to try to get my biological child in trouble with the husband. Well, of course, the "ROYAL B_TCH"!!! came out of me. The same way my husband feels it necessary to defend the demon beyond measure; I one-up'd you. I do not defend my children when they are wrong but I be DAMN if I'm going to allow the demon child's lies to put my child in jeopardy! I have had it!!!! I told my husband it's marriage therapy or I'm walking. I refuse to continue living in and rearing my children in this disfunction!!!! You, (as an adult) CAN NOT be that DUMB and STUPID that you don't see what this little idiot is doing. Why oh why does my BIG IDIOT husband not see the destruction this child is causing????? This boy does anything and everything to create HELL in my house. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!!