I need advice on how to get my BF and his mothers eyes open as to what my ss is really like. I am more than ready to leave, but BF and me have a daughter of 3.

My BF moved to PE for work leaving his son with his grandmother in EL, I met my BF in PE, he had told me that he has a 8yo son that lives with him and his mother on a farm, he just moved to PE for work. Not long after we met I was preggies and we had moved in together. His son came to stay with us during school holidays and weekends him and his grandmother came down to us. Things were not great, but okay, tolerable. The boy was to come and live with us the next year, the boy is adhd. He was to go to a special school there by us. That Dec he went to Australia to vissit his mother, she decided to keep him there and not send him back. My BF and his mother had already sued her for custody and the court deneid them. She just takes when the urge hits her and when she has had enough, she sends him back.

While the boy was living with his mother my BF and I moved to EL, to live with his mother. The boy's mother send him back to us a year and a half later, she couldnt handle him anymore, he didnt listen to her and he got into trouble with the police. I was so happy for my BF when she send him back, bc I knew how much he was missing the child.

Things went okay for a while, but then he and I started clashing badly. Then it was BF and me arguing over the child. I have been brought up to respect my elders, I speak to BF's mother respectfully. It really gets to me that ss doesnt, he speaks so ugly to her. But, she does nothing about it, just lets him get away with it.

SS started ignoring me when I spoke to him or blatantly doesnt listen, when I told my BF he said he didnt see it, so he cant punish him. That really pissed me off.

SS has a bedwetting problem, okay fine, he cant help that, but sure as hell can help what he does with the wet sheets and clothes, he just leaves it lying on his bedroom floor, for someone else to pick up and I wont. His grandmother doesnt like that, she meens bc of the adhd and him being only a child he knows no better. He uses his bedroom floor as a washbasket, I dont pick them up, I dont go in his room, I have lost nothing there. I only wash the clothes thats put in the basket, now granny is upset with me, passively, bc she knows I shouldnt have to pick his clothes up off the floor, now he has to wash his own clothes. She did it for him, bc suddenly he had alot of homework to do.

A couple of days ago, I did all the washing in the basket about 8 loads, one of his shirts was still stinking, the child then said its not his fault its stinking. And she didnt even say anything, I told his father that I wont do his washing anymore. They had a talk with him, now their assuming I will do it. I wont, they have had the same talk with him now for 2 years, talking to him doesnt help.

I am sure he pushes and hits on my 3yo daughter, but they just wont believe me, I have caught him, and still his father does nothing, bc he didnt see it. I told BF that soon his son will start to speak to him ugly, he didnt believe me. Its a year later and he is talking to him in a ugly manner, but BF does nothing about it. SS only pretends to listen to his father.

They dont want to believe what ss is capable of, so they just stick their heads in the sand and let him be.

I cant live with this constand anger towords a child anymore it is turning me in to absulute bitch.

Please advice me on how to make them see that by letting ss get away with everything is destroying the child. He knows he can do and say anything he wants to them, they will allow it. He is more cutious with me, bc when I take his phone I keep it, and if him or they ask me for it all hell breaks lose.