So SD is here because her running away, walking around in front of mom's BF nude, getting drunk and high, and being extremely abusive finally pushed mom's BF to have her booted out. ( I know exactly how he feels) the disrespect and abuse was enough for me to not want her here a year ago, I would not have even tolerated the other crap for a minute.

So SD is here being her fake sickeningly sweet, thoughtful, well mannered self. So we'll behaved it is beyond how any normal 14 year old would act. But alas SO is falling for it hook, line and sinker. Because it's a Christmas miracle his little girl is back, she has changed. 

I know better so does everyone else. SO has been sad because I won't be forced to take her places and bond with her. My neice refuses to also. The best was when DS came home and SO was trying to shove SD down his throat saying things like " look who is back, you two used to be such good friends" (not sure in what alternate universe that relationship occurred, but okay) DS just looked at him like he was a crazy person, turned around and went up to his room not saying a word.

SO is so delusional, we didn't do anything to damage that relationship. SD was the one who was rude, disrespectful, ungrateful and downright abusive to everyone in this house. We did not do anything to damage that relationship. We do not have to do anything to fix it. That's all on her. That's how it works.

He may be willing to be a human doormat, waiting on her hand and foot and spending hundreds of dollars he doesn't have just to get her to say a fake not heartfelt " I love you"  

But the rest of us have too much self respect.

I on the other hand have learned to adapt where I am never in the middle of Thier dysfunction. My new approach with SD is to always give the grandma response. Being honest in a kind and gentle way. It's great because SO isn't smart enough to realize anything and SD walks away speechless and leaves me alone.

The most recent incident was she called me asking to borrow one of my bathing suits so she could go out in the snow and pose for instagram pics. If I said no the neighbors would probably call the cops and ask for a mental health examination, she would want to argue and cry to daddy I was being mean.

So instead my passive aggressive response was. Oh I'm sorry honey but you wouldn't fit into any of my bathing suits. Which was very satisfying for me, because it's true and left her absolutely speechless.