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Why do I even care????

wicked stepmother9's picture

skids talk so much crap about me to each other and bm. :O The older they get, the worse it gets! I am at the point that I don't even want to be around any of them anymore (except sd11 & sd24-but she's never around lol). But at the same time, I am constantly worried about their grades, attendance, language, friends and activities.... BUT WHY???? WTF??? WHY DO I EVEN CARE?? I can hardly stand them, but worry about their choices now, for their futures...uggg!!!

dh is obsessed with me, always wants to spend every minute he can with me, so I can't take a break from his kids on the weeks they are there or he'll fall apart :O I feel like I'm going to have a nervous breakdown lol :jawdrop: no really.. I do... nobody I know is going through this or has ever gone through what I go through every day. I feel so alone, so trapped, so hopeless!

I hope this site will help me find others with similar situations!

Comments

12yrstepmonster's picture

Say the serenity prayer. When you find thoughts of them creep in force yourself to think of something else. You WORRY about them because you love them. Admit that too and then say the serenity prayer.

It is a hard place to be. I was there for 8 yrs. And started saying. Can I make a difference. Can I change something. If its not in my control.....I go on.

wicked stepmother9's picture

I might love them... but they don't love me back! And everyone says " one day they'll thank you".. but their bm is so crazy and manipulative, I honestly dont think they will.. she is taking them away one by one... sd20 hates us.. now ss16 hates us.. ss14 would do anything to get away from us and live with disneyland bm!

wicked stepmother9's picture

I feel sorry for DH though... he has tried to do what he thinks is best, and now half his kids will have nothing to do with him.. To be honest, I feel some jealousy too. I have spent the last 7 1/2 yrs putting all of my time and energy into raising these kids the best I know how (going through hell), only to have them walk away wanting nothing to do with me or my husband. They think BM is the best thing that walked the earth. I could just scream!!! We still have 3 skids that come every other wk. I read fb msgs and the awful things that are said about my husband and me. I know they arent my kids and arent my problem, but I made them my problem when I married DH. If I could go back.... I would never have married someone with kids.
But how can I stop the feelings of HATE and jealousy towards bm and skids???