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WHY??

the wicked witch's picture

Submitted by the wicked witch on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 12:50pm

why do I feel as if I need to always go out of my way to make my step kids like me. What do I have to prove and why do I KEEP DOING IT!!

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RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 1:03pm

Because you have fallen victim to the stepparenting myth that all stepmothers LOVE their skids and would go to the ends of the earth to please them.

Now, recognize these facts: not all blended families are happy. Not all skids love their stepparents. Not all stepparents love their skids.

If you've made an effort to be a part of their lives and they're rejecting you - disengage! Save yourself and your sanity. Do yourself that favor! Let their father deal with them. That's what I do now. Sure, I still have to deal with SD14's manipulation and lies, but I refuse to waste any more of my precious time trying to convince her that we need to be one, big happy family! Dirol

Ghost Rider's picture

Submitted by Ghost Rider on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 2:52pm

Disengage AMAN to that!!!!

I have been disengaging little by little! My husband don't seem to want to except it tho.

Wonders why I will not connect with them like I do with my cousins....

Plain and simple I get gradfications from my little cousins. At least they smile, hug me, every now and then send me a message through FB.

As most kids will do. They only pay close to their Real parents. BM has a lot to do with it.

I am so tired of it. Most of the time the BM turns it into a compaition game.

If we do something fun with them she has to top us and she does it quite well and make a point of it.

Husband no better. He has him a new job he has stay on for a year and feels intitled to play disney dad with the kids.

DISENGAGE!.... sorry rambling.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 2:58pm

I guess if your DH was in this situation, he'd understand and accept it, but oh well if he doesn't. You need to take care of YOU!

SMto5's picture

Submitted by SMto5 on Wed, 11/14/2012 - 1:55pm

I agree with REDWINGS FAN.... Disengage. After 9 yrs of asskissing, being called every filthy name, things stolen from my Bio children. I disengaged. I finally asked myself too "why?"
I wouldnt let anyone else do these things to me or my children, without cutting them out of our lifes. What makes the stepchildren any different? I had to learn to not give a shit what anyone had to say or think of me for not interacting with them. I do not deal with them at all.