It's an excuse Echo. I know that and you know that. Problem is, daddy won't open his eyes and see it. He still parents with guilt and lets her manipulate him. It's shameful. We're not talking about someone that has gone to school and worked and suddenly lost their job and needs a leg up. We're talking about a 'child' who has worked perhaps 6 months in her entire life. It's just disgraceful. She has no shame I guess and has turned into a very selfish young women. Its' very sad.

Do you know what my biggest fear is? I much fear one day she will talk/pressure her daddy into selling our home and asking him to move in with them. That way she can USE him and his money on a regular basis. Morever, I won't be in the picture at that point, obviously, because you see I own the house as well and something like this would split us apart for good, to say the least.

I so want to sit down and talk to him and tell him once and for all he needs to stop, but it's an exercise in futility. He just won't listen, literally. He gets defensive and says "I don't want to talk about it anymore". I suspect it upsets him partially because it speaks to a failure in part on his parenting (and we know how fragile the male ego can be). Again, it all goes back to guilt and manipulation.

Yeah that's what I want to say to him...why don't you just send her a monthly stipend and be done with it. It would be more honest at least.

Ya know my parents didn't have money [either] and I had to work p.t. during high school and started working f.t. as soon as I could find the hours after high school. I lived w/my parents for longer than the average person does, but that was because they needed my income. Being that I was in no hurry to find my soulmate and because I knew I never wanted children, it wasn't really a big deal to me [still being at home]. Sure it got frustrating at times but I got over it. Point being that even though my folks did spoil me to an extent, I was never unappreciative and I was always respectful. More importantly, I paid my fair share. No one handed me a d*mn thing for the most part. I didn't have a bunch of kids I couldn't afford. I didn't expect anyone to take care of me...I'm not trust fund baby for cryin' out loud.

So, when I see this LAZINESS and entitlement in the SD and how it affects her father (and that's the part that really bothers me), I get incensed. He works his backside off and she just calls up and plays the proverbial fiddle: "ohhhh wahhhh wahhh...pooor me...I have no money to feed my kids....wahhhh". What he should be saying to her is "I'll send you a grocery gift card to help you out, but this is it. You need to get a job even if it's just part time working at a burger joint or something. No more excuses young lady". I suspect if he had the 'nerve' to say that he'd hear a 'click' on the other end and she'd badmouth him (showing her true colors once again). She used to be a good kid, or so I thought. Then something happened to her when she turned 15 or 16 and no one would rein her in. I was the only one that provided any discipline but that was fleeting because she didn't live with us. She could have lived with us and at one point I pushed her father to MAKE her come live with us so I could get her in line. He wouldn't do it out of fear of her rejection. He was more concerned with being her 'friend' rather than a father (which is so often the case isn't it). You know what that got him? An unappreciative, selfish brat who whined to him last year that he and her BM should have been stricter with her and provided her with a more stable home life (they split when she was 5 btw).

Right honey...it's all their fault that you don't have a job and have 3 kids and didn't want anyone to tell you what you could and couldn't do. Enough. You made choices. Now grow up and get on with it already.

Alas, that is fantasy land I'm afraid.

Sorry...I guess I need to go talk to a therapist eh?

I wish I could make my S.O. see the error of his ways. Honestly, sometimes I wonder what the h*ll I'm doing putting up with the stuff that I do.

Oh btw, the other excuse SD uses is that if she went to work, all her money would go to day care/sitter, so it would negate any earnings she made.

What a convenient excuse.

At the very LEAST she could sign up for some on line college courses. But you know what she says? She says she doesn't have time because she has to take care of her kids. Oh really? Then how come you seem to have so much time to spend posting everything down to the latest adorable fart that the 6 month old made, on FB???

Seems those born in the 80s took the "Me" generation label VERY literally.