Again, some time has passed since the last time I logged in (before Christmas, I think). There have been some changes in my life...some good, some bad, some that were just expected...

I'll save the good for last because it's that good.

The bad. Both skids will fail 4 classes each for the semester and badly enough (grade wise) that it will take miracle grades next semester just to pass. As I said previously, we did find out that SS12 is dyslexic and will be starting specialized classes next semester (that starts in a couple weeks). We had our first appointment with the school counselor and the Dyslexia Specialist (which just so happens to also be SS's reading teacher...that's a plus!) and SS has phonological dyslexia...his understanding of phonics is at a 1st grade level. He is at an almost normal grade level in most other areas that he was tested for, so we are hoping that we can start getting him back on track quickly. The Specialist said that most of her students don't need to stay in the program over 2 years. Unfortunately, she is also suggesting that we hold him back in the 6th grade next year, just to give him another chance to re-learn everything he's missed this far. If it were MY son...I would do it. I would hate to do that to him, but I think he needs it. And besides...if he continues to fail..he will be help back anyhow (Specialist said we probably won't see a big improvement until close to the end of the school year). SD14 is in the same boat--gradewise. She is failing 4 classes for the semester...one so badly that she will have to make a 98 every six weeks for the rest of the year just to pass. DH told the counselor at our meeting for SS that he was not paying for summer school again this summer (he has paid for it twice for SD), so he still feels the same way as earlier in the school year (SD has failed every report card this year and he informed her that she would have to repeat the 8th grade next year because he wasn't paying for summer school). ...This leads me to the next part

Just as expected: As much as I love DH...he's waffling more than the Waffle House. He has yet to make good on his threats of taking away video games, cell phones, iPods, etc for bad grades. I keep telling myself that he is just going to let them fail and repeat the grade next year...I guess that's the ultimate discilpline. But really, I'm really scared that he is going to end up paying for summer school. I just can't believe that he is going to stick with this threat when he hasn't stuck to any other ones so far. Not to mention that AM is dating a sugar daddy, so she could possibly pony up the money if she's still dating him come May. I don't see AM standing idly by and make SD repeat the 8th grade while her friends go on to high school. Of course, if she fails 4 classes (as she is this semester), she won't be eligible for summer school anyway.

Believe me, it's not that I want either of them to fail the school year, but somewhere along the way...they have to learn how to take a little responsibility.

Now for my favorite part...the good.

I got a letter from SD for Christmas. I had said in my last post that she was being nice--as usual for this time of year (Christmas and birthday), but the letter actually explained it to me. I will have to remember to grab it for my next post, but it was basically thanking me for being there for her, that she is sorry for the way she has behaved in the past and that she is really trying to change her ways. She said that she wants us to work on our "mother-daughter" relationship. And at the end, she signed it "Your Second Daughter--SD" I cried! I cried! And then, I cried some more!! The sad thing is--she doesn't want me to tell Favorite Aunt, because Favorite Aunt still talks to AM and will tell her and then, AM will be mad at SD for wanting a relationship with me. So...things have been pretty good so far. Every time she leaves the house, she says goodbye and even gives me a hug most of the time!!! NEVER in over 10 years has that happened!!! She comes downstairs and sits with us and talks..even when it's just to chat when before-it was usually because she wanted something.

Now...knowing all this, I am extremely happy with those developments..I say it was the best Christmas present EVER. My personal issue is that I find myself still questioning her motives. I pray that the behavior continues..and even gets better, but her AM is a master manipulator, and I get scared thinking that SD may be trying to manipulate me by "killing me with kindness". I think this is the biggest thing I have ever kept from my DH...and I didn't even realize I was keeping it from him until I typed it just now, but I guess I'm scared he will get mad at me for second guessing the behavior. The main reason I think I am questioning the bahavior? She still treats her dad with the same disrespect she always has. AND...she is staying at his house less and less these last couple months. Yesterday was her birthday. I didn't even get to see her, but she did come by the house long enough to pick up her gift. I told DH that I thought it was rude, but who am I?