Ok...so the story is that I have never really had an issue with my DD14 spending time with her dad or liking her SM....matter of fact, I encourage DD in those relationships. DD's biodad is a Marine...has been her whole life. So, she has lived away from him pretty much her whole life. She has gone to visit him (and now his wife, her step sibs and as of recent..her half brother) only a handful of times in the years past...whenever my exMIL would go for a visit..she would take DD. For the past 2 years, exH has been stationed about 5 hours away and this has made for more home visits, so DD gets to see them more than ever. I have been SO ok with this because it gives me some time "off" from parenting--which I really enjoy after so many years of being both mom and dad. And when her half bro was born last year, she spent the first whole week away from me in her whole life (Spring Break). Last summer...it was two whole weeks. This summer...maybe longer.

Anyhow....my whole thought for this blog is that because of some of the other blogs that I have read...I've noticed some of my ways that could have been misconstrued by SM. I have always really liked the SM..she's great to my DD, and we are lucky to have her (and recently even told SM this much!) but, I realized that I hover parent...even when DD was with them. I didn't notice it until this last spring break when DD was with them. I pouted to myself because DD didn't text me through the day and didn't really talk to me when I called to tell her goodnight (and I did the nightly call only because DD always asks me to call before I go to bed). I felt jealous because DD got her first set of fake nails without me...granted, she did ask permission and I gave it. AND..I wasn't going to take her for a couple more years...

Now mind you, I really don't know that SM knows of any of this as DD texts me and only talks to me from the privacy of her own room while she is there, so I don't really know if SM knows that I was guilty of hover parenting!! I know she doesn't know that I was jealous of the whole nail thing because even DD doesn't know!! It was just really mind blowing for me to realize that I was guilty of some of the "annoying, but not hateful" BM habits that are discussed on here!!! This whole "sharing" DD thing is still kinda new to me, but I really am happy for her to spend time with her dad and SM. I even like SM more than I like my ex-H!!!

But, I must say...once I realized what my actions were....I stopped them as much as I could. I still called DD every night per her request, but because I don't sit there and TELL her she is having a miserable time, I don't think those calls could be considered "PAS" intentioned....