My poor DH...even though this is the bed he has made
I feel so sorry for my DH. The skids are doing worse and worse every day in school. SS was failing 2 (out of 7)classes when progress reports came out...now he is failing 4 and on the verge of failing a 5th class for the first six weeks of school. SD is still failing 4 (out of 7) classes, but her grades are even lower in 3 of those classes (also on the verge of failing a 5th class).
DH was always a wonderful student, so he has a hard time understanding their lack of drive.
He was out of town this past weekend (golf trip!!), so we really didn't talk until this morning. But, he told me this morning that he barely slept last night because of the kids grades and out and out lack of caring about school.
We both understand having a rough time with certain subjects or even have a rough time with a specific topic in certain classes...but there seems to be no motivation. I will say that DH (unfortunately) has created this laziness. He does not give any discipline or consequence for a failing grade, so why should they try?
Now...we are stuck with trying to get on top of this situation...and yes...I will be helping him-without question. So, I have suggested (and he accepted and has since told SD and BM) that he would not be paying for summer school for SD if she fails the 8th grade (she was just in summer school this past summer for failing 2 classes in 7th grade). Now, we are trying to come up with other ideas. I suggested it was time for some "commando style" parenting. I suggested that we take out TV,s XBoxs, cell phones, iPods from their rooms. I also suggested that we take away SS's BB guns (that he loves!), and SD's makeup, hair stuff, jewelry and clothes--leaving her with her school uniforms and 2 outfits per weekend. Grounding in every sense of the word...no going next door to play with the neighbor, no going skating, no spending the night with friends, etc...I'm not above taking the bedroom doors off the hinges (but, DH isn't willing) Oh also...SD was staying on her cell phone texting until 1 o'clock in the morning sometimes. DH took her cell phone into his room (when he went to bed) for a few days. Since she started keeping it back in her room with her...she has been minding the cell phone curfew.
Any other suggestions?
And..it's all good and easy while BM is working out of town, but as soon as she comes home, they will be with her for however long she is in town for. So, we do lose a little ground when that happens, as she doesn't enforce any kind of punishment or even met any out in her house.
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Momster/Spunki...I have taken
Momster/Spunki...I have taken ya'lls advice. I have been in touch with the teachers. I was already in touch with a couple of SD's teachers, but just reached out to them again. Yes, our school has online assignment pages for each class, but our school website was hit with a virus, so noone has been able to put their assignment page up yet! We also have a system that allows a parent to log in and get the up to date grade for each class, and also the overall grade for each class. We also signed up for the email notification part that will send us an email if the class grade falls below a 70 and also if they did not turn in an assignment or receive a grade lower than a 70 on daily work. It's great, but one without the other doesn't help too much. Ok...so we get an email stating that SD didn't turn in an assignment...it would have helped to know that something was due. (We are forever getting the "I finished it in class" or "I didn't have any homework in that class")
When I recently found a bunch of uncompleted work in SS's binders, DH did make him complete them all, so that's also being done. SD doesn't really bring home much except math, but DH said that he's going to start making them bring home everything...even stuff "finished in class".
We shall see. I just hope DH remains strong in his convictions here...
Well...when I picked up kids
Well...when I picked up kids from school, apparently SD is mad that I was in touch with her teachers...tee hee. When DH got home from work, I told him that I contacted some of the teachers (for both SD and SS). I was told that the school website was hit with a virus, so the teachers hadn't been able to update their assignment list, but that's being worked on. DH came home armed with a printout of grades that was emailed to him for both SD and SS. He went directly to SD's room (with SS in tow) and I heard him--very calmly (so proud of him!) tell them that it's all about to get a lot different around here. Starting when the report cards come out (next week), there will be no more cell phone, no more video games, no more anything until the grades start coming up. He explained that he gets these emails with bad grades and can go online and check overall averages every day, so no one can lie about their grades any longer. I was so proud of him!!!
SD's reading teacher had sent home a website address that would allow us to go online and check SD's AR (accelerated reading) test grades. They have always been required to read to earn points and those points equal a test grade for that class. This school year, the AR points are a full 50% of SD's reading grade each six weeks. I didn't get on the computer last night, but when I got to work this morning, I checked my email and had a response back from a couple of SD's teachers. The reading teacher informed me that SD has not even taken an AR test since May of 2008...the 6th grade. All last year, she kept telling DH that she took a test, but failed it (therefore, not getting any AR points). Just the weekend, she told DH that she took an AR test Friday, but failed it by one question. DIDN'T HAPPEN!! Now...we have proof that she just doesn't do it. (BTW..reading was one of the classes she ended up in summer school for this past summer!)
I just HATE that she lies about every single cotton picking thing in her life! I HATE being the one that has to go to my sweet DH and say..."Hey honey...your sweet little daddy's girl?? Well...she's lying about this and this and this and this and this...etc, etc, etc....
And...she had been doing so well with getting off her cell phone by 9 PM..even I was a little proud of her following the rules for once! Well..BM came back to town yesterday and picked them up last night. SD was on her cell phone (texting) until 11:30 last night. I guess I will suggest to DH that the cell phone stay at his house while SD is at BM's. (we pay for the phone) BM had said that she would take the cell phone and laptop to her room when SD was staying there, but I think she has only done it once...