I AM NOT A WHORE
BM has been telling some of my good friends who I attend church with that I had sexual contact with DH while they were still married. She also said that we started a serious relationship that tore apart her marriage. :jawdrop: None of this is true. Yes I knew DH while they were still married I met him in scripture study so I knew his face but we never even as much as sat next to each other. It wasn't until after he divorced her that we even began talking and even then it was just a refreshing friendship that led to talks over brunch once a week. There was an exchange of compliments as we were walking through the park one day that led to us holding hands that's it. I drove him and his kids around sometimes when he had arthritis flare ups in his hand. We just gradually found our self's in a committed wonderful relationship. No sexual contact whatsoever until our wedding night. yes we did move in together and buy a house a month before we got married but we had been planning to buy a house for a while. We slept apart every night other than the weekends we had the steps.
I did se him naked a few times and of course we had lustful feelings which I am ashamed of but I am only human. I have repented of my sins. BM spreading these lies throughout my church is a very big thing for me. It could frown on my worthiness of certain things and cause all types of problems. This troubles me deeply and it hurts because I have tried so hard to be a virtuous woman carrying myself with grace and self respect. And I don't want that to be tainted . I am a role model to young girls in my church. I have made numerous mistakes in my lifetime and I take responsibility and will own up to each and every one of them. I have my flaws I am no where near perfection. I know some of you may not understand why I am so upset or why this bother's me so much. I could lie and say I don't care what people think of me. But I do care I care that I am thought of as a good woman. That when people talk about me they talk about me in a good way. when people see me I want them to smile my way not frown. When someone tells outrages lies about you and damages your character it makes you feel rotten. You feel guilty even when you know you have done nothing wrong. I should not have to go around and explain myself to everyone who questions me and I should not have to revive my good name.
All I can say is that those who truly know me will believe in my character and know the truth through her lies .
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Comments
Ok, this is the oldest trick
Ok, this is the oldest trick in the book and sounds a lot like sour grapes.
You have to decide wether to address her accusations or leave it alone as the ridiculous accusation it is. Does she attend your church? If so I would really think hard about finding a new one.
My take on it is that if your friends believe her then they obviously do not know who you are and aren't worth it. Easier said than done I know.
You have nothing to feel
You have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about. Nothing.
She is a weak, jealous, miserable women to spread such untruths and hopefully people can see through her character enough to not believe these lies.
I was raised in the 50s so I
I was raised in the 50s so I do know the mindset you are coming from. And yes many younger people may not be able to comprehend what it is like to "have a reputation" just from being in a loving relationship.
Hold your head up high. Do not go into too much effort to explain your activities and non-activities. But do make it clear that BM's telling out and out lies is a bigger sin than anything you have ever done.
I don't see any reason why
I don't see any reason why you should get flamed for this.
Your response addresses the context of this particular OP's church and religious ideology and the ideology of those in her church.
Personally I think it's a shame that OP feels like she has something to apologize for, but that's just my opinion.
thank you foxlee. I think I
thank you foxlee. I think I needed to read that right now. You are right in what you said all of it was spot on and I now know what I need to do. Again thank you.
It would say a great deal
It would say a great deal about your friends if they believed any of it.
Ignore it. You have nothing to explain to anyone.
And to be honest, whether or not it was true, is no one else's friggin business.
Just sayin.
I met DH more than 20 years
I met DH more than 20 years after his divorce. He had a second wife for almost 15 years. BM has been remarried for about7 years.
But in her mind I am the whore that stole her husband. These women are so nuts.
If someone has the temerity
If someone has the temerity to come to your face with BM's lies you need to shake your head and say it is such a shame that she has such a vivid imagination and cannot put it to good use. Mental illness is such a shame. You are not saying BM lied nor are you saying she has a mental illness. But that should give gossipers something to think about.