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There goes MY day!

xtina's picture

Submitted by xtina on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 12:23pm

This weekend was my and SO's weekend off. Neither of us have kids or work. We had plans today to shop and I was going to do painting projects. This morning I woke up to my SO leaving to pick up his son. My SO's mom had taken SS5 this weekend like she does every weekend we don't have him. BM wants her weekends free to party and my SO won't take him every weekend.anyway today apparently BM says her car won't start and can't pick up her son so my SOs mom called and bitched at him saying its his son and his responsibility to pick him up and bring him back to BMs. SO said "Whtever you guys had arranged is your business and I have nothing to do with it so why should I waste my day saving your ass?" His mom is a real piece of work. So off he went to drive 2 hours to pick up his son without asking me. Apparerntly he is staying with us tonight because BM wants the day off. Just fucking shoot me.

Comments

xtina's picture

Submitted by xtina on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 1:10pm

His mom wants to have him every other weekend! BM calls her every Friday that SO doesn't have him and asks her to take him and she does! SO usually doesn't know either. But when his mom needs to get rid if him she jumps down SOs throat to help because it is HIS son. SO says "You chose to take him knowing BM is unreliable so you keep hikm" it sounds bad but why should he jump up to help when its not his weekend?

HadEnoughx5's picture

Submitted by HadEnoughx5 on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 2:20pm

Sounds like Grandma needs to get a backbone to saying 'NO" to BM when Grandma has plans and keep SO out of it.

xtina's picture

Submitted by xtina on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 1:07pm

I agree!! But she is so NOT curteous. She is not a nice woman. I told him that if he jumps off his butt to come to his mom's rescue and BMs rescue today they are always going to expect him to. And like you said yes he has a responsibility to his son bur not really today . He wasn't hurt or sick or something.

HadEnoughx5's picture

Submitted by HadEnoughx5 on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 2:17pm

IMO, SO is taking care of his child every other weekend. BM is supposed to take care of her child on the other weekend and SO's mom is stepping into the middle of it, then it's up to BM and Grandma to work it out. Otherwise, SO should just file for full custody and screw BM, she's too concerned about having a good time instead of being an actual parent.

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 2:24pm

Hello I read your comment on my post from yesterday.In think the most important bit is that you haven't been asked at all.He just does what he wants to do , but avoids any confrontation with you.I know how you feel since this is how I felt yesterday.We ended up having a bad fight.Because I was angry and I gave him a hard time for doing that stupid thing he turned that against me and told me get over it.I actually screamed at him yesterday which shouldnt have but I was so frustrated.He then screamed back at me when I suggested to call her back and tell her we had plans.But of course he wouldnt .

StickAFork's picture

Submitted by StickAFork on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 5:24pm

How can a PARENT not want their OWN child every weekend?

Hell, I have my kids EVERY single day, 365 days a year.

AND I LIKE IT.

Guess that makes me a freak. :?

StickAFork's picture

Submitted by StickAFork on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 5:55pm

That kinda sounds like my XH. He was a decent enough father when we were married... he had anger issues, but directed that at me. He was Boy Scout leader, and we did family stuff EVERY weekend. He attended school conferences, plays, etc.

We split, and within a year, it was like... I dunno. His entire life stopped. Walked away from 4 kids (1 with another woman,) his job, his car, all of his personal property, everything. Just left. Unfortunately, I know he's still alive, but I think his screw got loose.

xtina's picture

Submitted by xtina on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 5:42pm

And BM has 4 other kids with 4 other men so how in the world does she gmanage to get rid of them all at once
Every weekend?

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 6:21pm

Didn't you say that your son is with his dad every weekend?

You and BM have the same set up. Why is it ok for one mom but not the other?

xtina's picture

Submitted by xtina on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 9:15pm

Right and if my sons dad didn't want him every weekend I would be fine with that. I don't ever make plans or go out and party so as long as he doesn't mind I don't.

xtina's picture

Submitted by xtina on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 9:20pm

I let my ex have our son on weekends because he wants to. If he suddenly didn't want to every single weekend I wouldn't drop my son off with anyone who will take him just because I want my weekends free. There is a HUGE difference between BM and me.

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Sun, 01/13/2013 - 6:49pm

If you don't already, you might need to consider living separately from SO to strongly show him how you feel about this. He needs to tell them to figure something out and not go running over there to save them (unless it is a genuine emergency).

I feel compelled to say this: I know you don't like your stepkids, but do try to think of how you would want your child's SM to feel about your child. Kids can really pick up on how others feel about them, even if the others are acting nicely to them. Don Henley said that children have excellent BS detectors. He is right. They are younger kids, correct? Try to remind yourself often that they wouldn't choose this situation either. Heck, they likely would choose to have better parents if they could. As hard as it is, we do have to separate these kids from their BMs in our minds. Even if they look just like them and/or share any of their annoying qualities. We often get frustrated with many BMs because they do not see their kids as unique individuals separate from them. To some extent, I think we do this too, when it comes to how we feel about these kids. We really have to train ourselves to look past the annoying qualities they share with BM and remind ourselves that the BM's actions aren't the skids' faults, and that these kids would very likely choose to be in different, better, more peaceful situations as well, with better parents. And for those of us who have bios of our own (I do not) I think it is worthwhile to keep said bios in mind when dealing with these situations. Would we want our bios to have SPs who, on some level, resent them for our actions and annoying ways? I know I would not.

I know this does not have anything to do with this particular post, but I hope you will think about it all the same. And I hope it can lead to some positive changes in your situation, so that when things like this do pop up, you can feel more peaceful and less unpleasant feelings inside you. (((HUGS)))