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Skids are home

yogasmom's picture

So the kids came back Saturday and its been pretty rough. Some of this I attribute to 3 weeks of being with BM, some of it has to do with the latest let down from her household. I'll get into that in a minute. BM doesn't parent, she's a typical absent parent for the most part. On the rare occasions she says no to something, she caves as soon as they wig out. Naturally these behaviors expand into their time here through adjustment. This is easily handled with consistency and usually takes a few days to wear off. Now the let down, BM was planning her wedding, had told the kids about her "big wedding, bought them dresses, generally got them all excited about it. Which is fine, except then she ran off and got married over 4th of July without them. So then she tells them that she's still having a wedding party when they come back, ok cool. Girls are still all excited, I was glad she was planning a way to include them. They come back and I asked OSD how the party was, cue welling of tears, "mommy didn't have a party! And I didn't get to wear my dress!" Eye roll, of course. Because BM never follows through. So the girls were super dissapointed and hurt. I was like, "I'm sorry that must have been dissapointing, but Daddy and I have a special outfit for both of you, and we have the wedding this weekend. I'm really excited that you'll be there with all your cousins and family!" They moved onto that immediately and the waterworks ended.

I've noticed they're acting out more since they came back. There's a lot going on, and a lot of changes happening so I'm not surprised at all. I feel really sympathetic to them as their mom reminds me a lot of my own, always choosing herself over her kids, excluding her kids from important life events, just being selfish and narcissistic. All I can think is that they are better off with their father. On the bright side, their aunt is coming to take them to a hotel with their cousins today so I can do wedding stuff and relax before Saturday. It'll be good for everyone and I know they'll have a blast. Now I just need to get them packed and cleaned up so theyre ready!

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yogasmom's picture

Just to give you a taste of her, her own family wouldn't come out for her "wedding party" even though she bought them plane tickets across the country. Everyone knows exactly what she is. The only reason they have a relationship with their grandmother is because of soon to be DH and I supporting it. BM won't even let them talk on the phone with BM or BGD. It's sad.

yogasmom's picture

This^^^^ is why I don't put my heart and soul into raising them. I enforce whatever dad decides, and not a penny of my money goes to their needs. I'm sorry, but no. I don't buy anything for them and when there dad is home from work it's his circus not mine. If they want to talk or have a hug I can do that, but I'm not the parents and its never going to be that way. I feel thag way bc of stories like yours.