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SS is really sick :(

young_step_mom's picture

A little over a year ago SS3.5 had one of his kidneys removed. It had been giving him problems pretty much since he was born and finally the doctor said there was no way around it -it had to be taken out. Well last week SS had a check-up and it looks like he has an infection in his other kidney. DH is freaking out and I don't even know what to say to him Sad He has been so upset about it that he has been distant w me all week (we are long distance right now and hearing him to sad and distant on the phone is killing me). DH, ET, ET's mom and SS all went to the doctor this morning and it looks like there is definitely an infection and so they headed to see another specialist right away. I haven't spoken to DH, he just texted me a little while ago and said they were headed to see the other specialist. I didn't even know what to respond. I feel terrible, and I hate that I can't be there to comfort him and I don't even know what is going to happen. I don't really love SS, but I also don't anything bad to happen to him and I can't even imagine the strain that this is going to put on our relationship (is it selfish to think about that right now???). I am also very frustrated that DH was the one to drive ET and her mother to the doctor's appointment (which is also probably very selfish of me to be thinking about right now), but I realize that now probably isn't the best time to be thinking about it.

I am also thinking about all of the expenses. When SS had his operation last year, DH and FIL payed for everything: the operation, the overnight stay in the hospital, recovery visits, medication, etc. FIL helped DH out last year because DH was finishing up veterinary school, but I don't know how much FIL can help him out w this time and DH does not make enough right now to pay this off. I guess he could go into his savings, but we were planning on opening up our own business w that and I know this will put our plans on hold for a while. Plus I was planning on moving with him later this year after I finish up my own degree, but this added expense will definitely push that off for a while. How can I push DH into making ET cooperate right now? He has enough on his plate w SS being sick I don't want to put any more stress on him. I also know that this means ET will not want SS to leave the house and DH is going to have to go to ET's house and hang out w him there if he wants to see him (which is exactly what happened last time). I know DH doesn't like going to ET's house, but he will do it if it is the only way to see SS and I am getting sick just thinking about it. Is it wrong of me that these are the things I am thinking about -should I only be focusing on SS right now???

I know I am getting ahead of myself, I mean maybe it isn't even that serious?? I don't know.

BTW, Happy Valentine's Day to you all. I hope your V-Days are going better than mine :/

Comments

SteppingUp's picture

Poor little boy Sad I'm sure he's just miserable, and scared too. I can't imagine what this would be like as a family.

And I don't think you're wrong for thinking about the "big picture". You are just being honest and anyone who would say they'd never think of all those intricacies in the situation would be ridiculous. I think as stepparents we have somewhat of an advantage (or maybe a disadvantage?) that we are not only involved IN the situation but we can also see it from a somewhat outsider perspective. Don't beat yourself up over thinking about all of the things that no one else is able to step back and put into perspective.

Jsmom's picture

Don't beat your self up for the doom and gloom stuff. It actually helps us process stuff like this.

I will tell you this a kidney infection is usually fine with meds. With him only having the one functioning kidney it is always serious. My late husband had three kidney transplants and I am a mentor to families going through the process. You are a long way away from that process, but they are just reacting to that because they don't want to have a child lose his only functioning kidney. Meds will probably clear this up. You will always have to watch this child to make sure there are no problems.

distorted reality's picture

Thoughts and prayers to you. I know it's hard what with being LD and all but, try not to worry too much just yet. It's a good bet that meds will clear this infection right up. Happy V-Day to you as well. Smile

Best wishes.