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Know what is disgusting?

zerostepdrama's picture

Submitted by zerostepdrama on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 8:08am

So my DH is pretty even keel and doesn't get upset very much. It's very rare that he raises his voice and even rarer that he raises his voice to me.

So last night I am dead asleep. DH comes to bed and goes to lay down. Then he turns the light on. Starts screaming how my old cat Lilly peed the bed. (She's the only cat that really comes into our bedroom and she has had this problem before.) So I just get right up and start to take off the sheets. We have a mattress protector sheet so there is no pee on the mattress. He's still yelling about it as we are putting a new sheet on the bed.

Well DH is yelling about how gross it is that she peed the bed and how am I acting like it's not a big deal. (Yes it's gross, but what can I do about it? It's not like I knew she peed the bed and I just laid there.) Then he goes on about Ernie the cat who has the tumor and how that is leaking and getting on the furniture (vet wrap isn't working, cat manages to pull it off). Okay I get it- to some these things are super gross. To me, it's like meh, it's part of having animals.

So he's pretty heated, just keeps bitching on and on and on about it.

DH: It's so disgusting!!!!!!!!

To which I reply with "You know what is disgusting??? The fact that you F*CKED BM for so many years. That's disgusting. The fact that you put your d*ck in her nasty crotch and enjoyed it! That's disgusting!"

DH is all like :? WTF does that have to do with anything.

Obviously it didn't. But don't come at me about my cats being disgusting when you had sex with a sea donkey for years.

He shut his mouth after that. He knows I don't ever bring up BM so he knew I was pissed.

Comments

ksmom14's picture

Submitted by ksmom14 on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 8:13am

Biggrin Biggrin
"sea donkey" ahaha, love that term!

He must have been irritated/frustrated with something else, and the cat pee just pushed him over the edge.

My DH likes to complain about our dogs, and say "your dogs" because I'm the one that wanted them and pushed for them. It drives me nuts, he agreed to them, and the skids LOVE them, so don't pretend they're just here for me!

Sorry you had a rough night!

zerostepdrama's picture

Submitted by zerostepdrama on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 8:19am

He gets super pissed (understandably) when the cat pees in the bed. She's old, has some kidney problems. It's not like it happens all the time. A few times a year. Yes gross to someone who isn't as invested in the pet as I am. But what does he want me to do about it? Like hello she's my daughter! I cleaned up the mess and locked her in her room (where her litter box and food/water is).

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 8:14am

:jawdrop: Zero lol now that's a way to end an argument, total out of the blue bring up him bonking BM and making babies with her......

I might have to remember that... oh wait I don;t have to I can simply say - Your daughter having sex, wiping with news paper and leaving it on the tv room table, your daughter leaving blood pads all over her room and the house, your daughter's bathroom and bedroom...

Oh I have allot of do you know what is disgusting up my sleeve }:)

zerostepdrama's picture

Submitted by zerostepdrama on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 8:17am

Oh I had a whole bunch more things I wanted to say but since he shut up I decided to just end it there and go back to sleep.

zerostepdrama's picture

Submitted by zerostepdrama on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 8:20am

Like how are you grossed out about cat pee when you had to look at BM's face for years? :?

zerostepdrama's picture

Submitted by zerostepdrama on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 8:40am

I don't think I'm Heidi Klum or anything but DH has dated some ugly women in the past. I think he has a lot of self esteem issues or he just doesn't care about appearances. I guess that might not be saying a lot about myself but I think I'm a MAJOR step up from some of his ex's. (He had 4 between BM and myself. 1 I never saw, 2 I met and they were UGLY and 1 I saw a picture and she was pretty.) And then of course there is BM.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 8:56am

How many times do I have to say this??? Your DH should be worshiping the ground you walk on. You are approximately 4,789 steps up from BM. That's like comparing unicorns to sea donkeys! Wink

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 8:21am

LOL! Best argument shut down I have EVER heard Smile

I may or may not have to steal that in the future Blum 3

zerostepdrama's picture

Submitted by zerostepdrama on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 8:33am

Oh yeah...and when you use it, make sure to tell us about it!

Seriously though sometimes I feel like DH can't bitch about anything when it comes to me, like hello you were with BM, you lose all creditability.

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 9:44am

you know I will, zero, you know I will!!!

I totally get where you're coming from on the "hello, you were with BM" thing, too.

zerostepdrama's picture

Submitted by zerostepdrama on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 9:48am

I actually feel like I could do a lot of stupid/gross stuff and if DH even questioned me I could just be like "You fucked BM" what can be worse then that?

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 2:35pm

This is Thing2's favorite joke ever.

he first heard it when he was probably 5 or 6 and he still tells it all the time.

Major Blunder's picture

Submitted by Major Blunder on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 8:27am

Pet stuff never bothered me, have had the worse possible. Skids are wayyyyyy more disgusting.
Thanks for the laugh this morning, sea donkey is awesome !!!!

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 8:50am

Give me furbaby excrement any day over the mental image of DG and BM having sex. Cat pee, poop and vomit don't make me cringe and cast a damper on the sex drive.

zerostepdrama's picture

Submitted by zerostepdrama on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 9:17am

Me too!

robin333's picture

Submitted by robin333 on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 9:45am

It is rude. On our last vet visit, my vet said that Snowball needed to work on being a snowflake and not a snowball. I told him that she was big boned and came from a line of large cats.

WalkOnBy's picture

Submitted by WalkOnBy on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 9:52am

No no no, you have to scruff them by the neck and drop them in feet first. MUCH easier than trying to shove a kitty in face first. Plus, when you scruff them, they kinda go limp.

My favorite vet tech taught me this years ago...

CANYOUHELP's picture

Submitted by CANYOUHELP on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 9:00am

This made my morning and you clearly made a point to hubby; that was some nasty vision you brought back probably to all of us. Your response was so fabulous I was forced to read it aloud to my husband; because yeah...now that you mention it...that is what is REALLY disgusting, huh? Now, that we are defining "disgusting" huh? I'm thinking feline pee is a much nicer vision, comparatively speaking.

You go lady, tell em....

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 9:28am

This is the funniest thing I have read in ages. I'm sitting in the hospital waiting area and spewed my coke. I needed that xx

princessmofo's picture

Submitted by princessmofo on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 9:32am

Oh, I have fond memories of those days, Zero. I was always totally perplexed as to why my former dh stuck his d&*% inside an inbred, knuckle-dragging swamp c*nt like bm but hey, to each their own.

But thank you so much for the belly laugh this morning.

In other news, the last time I saw former dh he looked two dimensional he'd lost so much weight and bm looked like she'd eaten whatever body mass he'd lost. Jack Sprat and his wife... }:)

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 12:45pm

Sea donkey?? Sea donkey!!!!!! I literally spewed rice all over my desk.

Quite honestly, I'd rather my DH had WALLOWED in cat p!ss than dip his wick in the 'Ho.

zerostepdrama's picture

Submitted by zerostepdrama on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 1:11pm

I'd rather know my DH bathed in cat pee and enjoyed it then had sex (and procreated 4 times) with BM.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Submitted by Exjuliemccoy on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 2:22pm

Thanks for the laugh, Zero! I had to resort to using my inhaler because I was wheezing.

I can totally picture how it went down - you, half asleep and on autopilot, just stripping the bed and taking care of business; your DH, all worked up and tantruming; you, matter of factly blasting him with phaser set on "truth" for maximum STFU effect; then DH, completely neutralized, tucking tail and going to bed. Hilarious, married folk stuff.

I've only lobbed that bomb at my DH once. It was in the heat of a fight over me disengaging, with him trying to bully and gaslight me into continuing to eat sh!t. I told him that I wasn't the one who stuck their dick in crazy, and I'd suffered enough for his mistakes. He also shut up.

lintini's picture

Submitted by lintini on Fri, 12/09/2016 - 5:58pm

Zero, you are my hero. That totally sounds like a scene from our house, DH losing his mind over something, he pushes my buttons, and here I come from left field with a BM insult.

*bows down*