Ernie had been doing good the past month. Since I had last posted. The tumor had broken through and was kind of leaking but we kept it clean and overall it was "okay". He was acting normal for the most part and was comfortable.

New Years Day he started acting different. The area around the tumor was getting red and changing. He was sleeping a lot and couldn't move around. He couldn't get up to his favorite spots (BS's bed and a chair by the window). So I had made the appointment for today to put him to sleep.

Saturday night BS and I were cleaning his bedroom- purging, organizing, rearranging. We were up later then normal. After we were done I was getting ready for bed and I told BS to bring Ernie into his room for cuddle time. So BS put him on his bed and then he yells "Mom he threw up. OMG it smells so bad, it's awful."

What it actually was, was his tumor burst open and it was puss and stuff (super gross) and it was a steady flow of leakage coming out. All over BS's bed, his floors and then Ernie took off and it was all over the hallway and living room carpet.

So I decided it's best to take him to the 24 hour vet and put him to sleep that night.

It was hard because it wasn't "the plan" and it was unexpected. But I knew it was time. So it made me feel a little bit better about everything.

Everything was good, well as good as it could be. The vet and staff were super nice. The process was faster and more peaceful then I thought it would be.

It's still hard thinking about seeing his dead body. Going from being alive one minute to dead the next.

In some ways though it has been relief. After he got sick I worried every single day if I was doing the right thing. Was he okay? Was he in pain? Should I put him asleep now? Or what if I put him asleep too soon? It was really agonizing.

BS was there for everything and helped the vet tech get his paw print in the clay thingy. He handled it pretty well. He wanted to be there for the whole thing and I think that was good for him to have closure and see it through. He was crying a lot though and it was hard to see that but Ernie was his best bud. You always hear about "a boy and his dog" well BS and Ernie were like that but more.

DH wasn't supportive during the process, but that is another story and post.

Thank you everyone for your support when I first posted about Ernie.