BM is more than Mean..she is pure evil....My heart really hurts tonight...ADVICE NEEDED PLEASE.....
WE have SD EOW and next weekend is our time...well we live in Canada and Friday is a Holiday as it's July 1st...so long story short..back in March we booked some camping trips for the summer when we have SD...and next weekend is one of them..well BM told DH that she has stuff going on so he cannot pick up SD on Thursday night he can only have her on Friday..
Well problem is we are taking a ferry to where we are camping and everything is arranged for Thursday and yes BM knew this..so DH told BM that she will have to tell SD that she cant come.. SD is just beside herself she is so upset.. (of course we are going to change our plans and pick her up on Friday but we are waiting this one out and will see what BM does.and then we will let SD know that we will pick her up on Friday)..
SD called me tonight to talk about this family party...well BM told her to get off the phone when she realized she was talking to me. SD said I'm sorry I have to go and she said she was sorry she couldnt come next weekend for our camping trip..I was in tears when I hung up the phone and so was SD... I'm telling you I cant stand BM..she is evil, mean and not a mother at all..I mean who does this to their child..WHO??????
BM has blocked me from Facebook which makes no sense because I would never accept a friend request from SD as her BM would know everything we do.. SD knows this and agrees..the 2 days ago she blocked my email account so I cannot send SD any emails anymore...and tonight SD told DH that her mom cancelled her email account and now her dad and our family can no longer send her any emails... I'm telling my heart is hurting so bad tonight for this poor kid...
WHAT DO I DO??? HONESTLY WHAT DO I DO TO MAKE THIS CHILD FEEL BETTER....
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Thanks, yes the CO states
Thanks, yes the CO states that we get her early on long weekends,.but her BM is making her life hell because she is close to me.. her BM doesn't want her to have a relationship with anyone outside her own family...I mean her BM's family..anyone on her DH's side she is trying to kill..
she is such a sick woman...
I'm really sad for you and
I'm really sad for you and your SD that the BM in your situation can't look past her own jealousy for the sake of your SD.
It's not going to look very good for her in court if you guys go back. One of the big things that they look at (which you probably know already) is how the parents work together for the sake of the child. If she continues to interfere it will come back to bite her, guaranteed.
Document every time she does something like this. It's not healthy for your SD for the BM to be acting this way. Judges and GALs don't like to take kids away from either parent but they will do it if enough evidence is provided to show that the kid is being put in the middle. That sounds like the case here, from your BM's side. If your BM really loves and wants to keep her daughter she'll knock it off ASAP.
How stressful, and sad, and childish. I feel for you!
Thanks for you post
Thanks for you post WorldWeary...I agree with you and I document everything. I've kept a log for years now detailing everything...I'm just not sure how to help my SD..she was so sad tonight and now her BM is taking it out on her...I'm trying to figure out what to do..I mean I have no contact with BM, DH deals with everything. I dont get in the middle of anything and I dont say a word to this woman, I dont look at her, I dont speak to her..nothing...
I believe we may have to go back to court..but the courts always seem to favor the mom...so I have no idea if that will get us anywhere..... SD told her BM that she wants to live with us when she is 13 because she wants to go to high school where we are..He BM freaked out and told her "See I do everything for you and you want to live with your dad" my SD told me that her mom is always angry and yells at her daily..she said they could be watching TV and bang her mom starts yelling at her...or they are out having lunch and bam her mom is mad at her...SD told me that's it's very hard and she wishes her mom would change....
Oh my gosh...I'm so not sure how to handle this..I dont want this child to have anymore stress in her life...
You need to read the books
You need to read the books "Divorce Poison" and "Walking on Eggshells".
Document everything and consult with a lawyer.
Good Luck.
Thanks anita..sigh..I will
Thanks anita..sigh..I will check out these books and yes I will have to get in touch with our lawyer...
Why does this woman have to make everything so damn difficult....hell she broke up her marriage by having an affair when my SD was 1yr old..she is the one who destroyed her marriage not my DH and it's not my DH's fault or my SD's fault..it's BM's fault...
I am just beside myself that a mother could do this to her child....wow..it boggles the mind...
My best bet you are dealing
My best bet you are dealing with a Borderline Personality Disorder. She be very, very craazzzyyy.
Research dealing with them on Google. If I was you, I would attempt to get a psych eval. done on her. That will make her back off.
My DH says that all the
My DH says that all the time...I will research that on google...but question how do I go about getting a psych evaluation done one her???how???can we do that??
This being a legal question
This being a legal question in Ontario, I'm going to suggest that you check out the Ottawa Divorce Forum. Very good site for obtaining relevant information. There are dude's on there who can you right down to the form numbers.
There would have been another website "thepsychoexwife.com" that is a very good board for deal with psycho ex. Mostly guys so it doesn't get into emotional debates but provides no thrills advice and tips.
You will not be able to view much due to it being shut down by a Judge in the blog owner's custody order and to remove all contents under the threat of jail and losing custody of kids.
Please, look at the website "savethepyschoexwife.com" for th whole story.
Hi HelpMeeeee...it's just
Hi HelpMeeeee...it's just unbelievable to me these BM's..what is wrong with them..I was brought up with such great parents...and I know if my parents had divorced that my mom would never..ever of done what these other BM's are doing to their kids....I do keep SD aware of the facts..I do not lie ever..the truth is what the truth is..
you know I told my husband tonight... SD might forget what her mom has said but she will never forget how her mom made her feel...so that said..BM is only cutting off her nose to spite her face..
Z
That is exactly what we are
That is exactly what we are going to do.we are going to show up and I'm sure SD will be there...My SD is 10yrs..
I will continue to document everything and hopefully things will change...god I hope so...
thanks MazzyStar..I appreciate your response..
Z
hmmmmmm, and what are SD's
hmmmmmm, and what are SD's plans that she'd unable to go on Thursday?
And why can't SD let BM know she doesn't like what's happening and considering moving in with you and dad? I bet that would catch BM's attention.
Sometimes my husband's kids couldn't do something because THEY wanted to attend a party or something, and had their mother cover for them. They did that often and still do. They don't want to do something with dad because there's a party or something else they want to do, they blame it on something else "My wife wants me to take her shopping", etc etc.
Anyways, bottom line, *itch BM you're dealing with.
Hey Done With It.....who
Hey Done With It.....who knows what BM has planned..she is just trying to cause hell..
My SD packed her suitcase at our house last weekend because she was so excited to go camping..Her BM is worried because SD told her she wants to live with us and her BM freaked out on her..and then BM called DH and screamed and yelled at him..DH just hung up on her...
Yes we are dealing with a terrible terrible BM..she is so nasty...
Thanks for you comments.. Z
You have to show up to pick
You have to show up to pick her up or you can not use it against BM. She can always say she had the child ready and he didn't show up get her. Even when I knew BF was going to be a no show I had to be there, get proof such as a reciept from somewhere real close to prove you were there. Definately try for contempt charges or she will keep doing this. The child is paying for BM's tricks more so then you and your DH. Help protect her and her relationship with her dad. Good luck
HI Ex4life...Yes I agree..we
HI Ex4life...Yes I agree..we always showup..always...My DH has never missed a pick up in 8 1/2 years.
My DH is fantastic..he is a great father..a wonderful husband an all around great human being..I know that my SD is paying the price for BM's crap and I pray it will end..
sigh....it's really a shame what is going on...a real shame..
Z
It sounds like she is lucky
It sounds like she is lucky to have the two of you to stand up for her. Keep it up. BM will find out that Karma can be a real B______.
Thank you ..we try..and I do
Thank you ..we try..and I do hope what goes around comes around..she so deserves what she gets....
My husband's ex did the very
My husband's ex did the very same stuff. These are very selfish parents, and I have used your same term, "evil." What parent would take pleasure in a child's hatred for their step parent or other parent? This is a good example of parental alienation, look it up on the Internet if you have not heard of it.