was on the phone with her "Daddy" the other day (she's 21) regarding what type of lunch he was bringing for her. She was screeching "Dadddddddddddyyyyyyyyyyyy.......youuuuuuuuuuu knowwwwwwww I don't likkkkkkkkkeeeeeeeeeee that. Why can't you bring me something IIIIIIIIIIIIIIII like?" Made me want to puke. She's not a SD though, her parents are still married. I'm sure her "daddy" knew he better stay with mom with a daughter like her! NO SM in history would put up with that!

I hear you Gia, I do it to!

~All you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust~

You have a good point. But it's not the site that changed me, it's my personal experience.

Part of our trip this weekend was visiting with a friend and former soldier under DH. He is finally getting a divorce from a nutso BM. So bad in fact that when they 1st talked of divorce several years ago, she grabbed their 18 mos and 4 year old daughters and fled to her mom's in a neighboring state. She stayed there for several months with no contact for our friend and his daughters and no legal help as they weren't even legally separated. He was told he had no right to have a court return his children. Can you imagine? I guess some of you can, ;).

Well he got them back alright. After working a 12 hour shift at one of his two jobs he got a call to come get them in the other state, at a police station. His W had been seeing a guy who broke one of his daughter's arms.

He ended up letting her come back to try again, living parallel lives for the "benefit" of the kids for another year or so.

We told him then to get out while that whole incident was fresh legally. Because he took her back and tried again he didn't have any leg to stand on from that whole horrible incident.

Now he has a wonderful single mom GF, they basically live together and is still trying to finalize divorce from crazy STBX. Who BTW, went ahead and started dating a local sherrif, and is using his connections as well as her mother's money to drag this case out forever, and stalk her STBX's GF. THROUGH police buddies at times. Luckily, I believe the officer is in another district, but still, has networking in theirs. So some of the cops are sympathetic to them and this situation b/c they are fed up with his STBX's using them all the time making up incidents.

Now... friend's GF? Has FOUR kids, including a 15 yo D, 11 yo son, and 2 D's 4 and 6. Friend has 2 daughters now 8 and 4. SIX kids, at least 3 of which are dysfunctional (her teen is giving them a lot of issues now, and his daughters are obviously severely screwed up from their BM.)

I want to tell this nice GF to RUN. At least her ex is barely in the picture. But now she is the target of this deranged BM.

But I don't tell her. Because she has to find out the hard way like all of us did.

Good post Gia. Good point. We do see the world differently. I guess b/c those rose colored glasses came off the minute we stepped into the blender.

"To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?" ~Hamlet Act III scene I

While I agree that that little girl's behavior was atrocious, and she deserved a some sort of "get in line" come about from dad...I didn't read it as anything that denoted "step" to me. Maybe that's why, even though I've been a step parent for 2 years legally, and 5 years before that while with my now DH, I answer blogs the way I do. I don't know what the real solution is, but I do believe that it's a societal problem with children today as opposed to strictly being a "step" problem. Interesting though, thank you! Because there are plenty of times I read stuff on here, where I'm thinking... they are kids... or whatever... and not in the step parent vein..

EVERYWHERE I go with SS people say.."your mommy this..your mommy that" referring to me. When FH and I are out with SS everyone always comments on how cute "our son" is..lol..Thank GOD he is a VERY cute little boy so I'm proud of it, but FH never noticed this until I brought it up..now when we are out and someone says "your son" he kind of looks at me and smirks..because we both know he isn't..but he is..lol

"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"

Guilt parenting as a societal ill, instead of just a step parent ill is an interesting observation.

Every generation seems to want to give their kids "the stuff they never had". So I don't know if it's guilt parenting or "peer pressure" parenting or what.

Sometimes when SD over here is getting out of line, or getting too "entitled"... I give her the old... Just Wait Til YOU have kids!!" I don't think she quite gets it... Yet!!! But I'm waiting for that day!!! }:) (ha ha ha haaa Evil Stepmom laugh!!!)

I would rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I am not.

and in regards to parents wanting to give their children everything they didnt have, I would love to know how many women or men here have fond memories of the THINGS mom or dad bought them? I would bet everyones fondest memories lie elsewhere. My mother was a single mother and though she gave to us as other parents did and do today, my fondest memories are sitting on the front porch listening to the rain with her,going for long walks or bike rides, picnics, squirting each other with the garden hose while planting roses, hiking in the mountains, curling up on the sofa watching movies together ect. It was the laughter, the hugs, the tears, the quite moments, the smiles, the love. I believe that what eventually means the most isnt what is bought, it is the time freely and lovingly given. Even today, my daughter or my son and I will be doing something together and I will look over at them to see them smiling, and ask," What are you smiling about?" To which they always respond, " Just making a memory Mom."