Thank you so much for the link and for the response. Your poor son!! My heart and prayers go out to him. He sounds like he is dealing with all of his trials as best as can be expected. God Bless you and your child. You sound like a wonderful mother. I will write more soon, but I just wanted to say thanks as soon as I got your reply...

Thank you for the responses. Lizdel I have checked the website out and will continue to read it. Thank you!!

I think I need some attitude adjustment. I feel like, both Lizdel and Casper's children have REASONS to be depressed. Lizdel - your son has gone through something that would even make an adult have some issues. And it sounds like he is mourning the loss of his own childhood because he has to deal with so much at a young age. Casper - your SS - oh that poor child as well! I've read your blogs before and it really is no wonder that kid is depressed! I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY both of your children would be suffering from depression.

I feel like I'm not sympathetic enough, I guess, toward my own SD. Someone once wrote about me on here - that I sound like I have fought my way out of the gallows and that I expect everyone else to do the same. And it's true... I have also dealt with sickness and some major trauma when I was in my teens and 20's through to present day. So when I see SD get depressed, I just don't get it. She's a beautiful girl, super smart, adored by her father, with a good home life here. I can and do understand that some of her issues are coming from BM... this has been backed up by the counselor and psychiatrist. I get that. I just worry that SD will struggle with this for the rest of her life and that every time she has a set back she will "get depressed". And I don't want that for her. I want her to be able to "snap out of it"!! Cold, huh?? I'm not trying to be a bitch and I never say this to her. But I'm thinking of going to counseling for myself to help myself deal with her depression.

Lizdel - speaking from someone who had a "scarring" illness at 17, I can understand your son. But please, rest assured, he sounds like he is handling it the best he can. He will probably always go through some periods mourning of "what could have been" his fun teenage years. As did I. But I'm hoping for him, with help, he will grow up stronger. He CAN have a LIFE. Please let him know that he may not be able to have the exact job he wanted, but that he may be surprised at what he can have. You know that saying - God always answers our prayers. Sometimes the answer is NO! When I took the job I even have now... some people expressed concern for me being able to physically handle it. But I did it and I love it. Please don't let your son give up on his dreams!! Like maybe he cannot be a police officer, but he can possibly so something else with law enforcement? Is there any other fields he likes?

Casper - I truly hope for your SS that as he grows older and more able to find his own voice he can disengage from his mom's destructive behavior toward him. This is what SD is going through now. Disengaging from her own mom. It's sad and it will be a whole host of other issues. But maybe he will find himself then. The next time BM tries to coddle him, maybe you could remind her of what a doctor once told me... the people with cancer that get better are not usually the ones who try to "fight" the disease and do everything right and make it rule their lives. The ones that do best are the ones that just say "oh well" and keep on living their life. I hope she can let up a little and let SS live his life.

Thanks again to you both. I appreciate the responses as I'm feeling pretty down right now.