So BM gets back from her week vaca, she has her kids for a day and a half and needs DH to take them a night earlier than our schedule AND keep them a night beyond Sundays usual drop off. So the tally is In 25 days: DH 20days/BM 5 days. I am not complaining about the extra time but we have 50/50 and are in court trying to get more. BM doesn't care how her needing extra help with the kids makes her look in court bc deep down-she really wants to only be "ACTING Head Bitch in charge".
So I go in to cut all the kids nails bc BM never does and SS-9 tells me "I know they are long my Mom won't cut them" I say, "Did you ask her to and she said no" He says "no, I didn't ask her." So I go into defending and respecting BM by saying things like, " Oh, she probably didn't know you were so long...blah blah..." I say, " I will cut them now and next week, your Mom can cut them again bc your nails grow so fast." he says, "not in a week, it's only 3 days". I say why do you think only 3 days? He says my Mom told me so. I used my childs intuition and inquired further....Did you tell your Mom you didn't want to come back here and she told you it's only for 3 days? He says yes. (Almost 3 years and I have never heard this before) I say well you will be here for about 6 more days and then you get to spend the entire week with your Mom. I leave the room and I ask SS-12 if SS-9 didn't want to come here. He tells me yes but it's only bc of the Wii BM has.
I do some laundry and I am thinking....poor ss-9, he doesn't know which way to turn. He has a Step dad who is really his Biodad, DH found out about 3 years ago and will not treat him any different and Stepdad/biodad is out of the house bc BM has a new BF.
I try talking to DH about it tonights conversation with SS-9. He says why are you interrogating him, it's not a big deal and he doesn't miss his Mom, he just wants the Wii....I get nowhere with my concerns.
I go into ss-9 room and tell him I love him, I hope he loves me and I want him here. That his Mom, Dad and Bio/Stepdad will always be here. It's normal to miss people when they are away but they won't be away for long....he says, no I won't see Step/Bio dad anymore, he moved (he didn't). I try to reassure him that everyone is still here and he needs to enjoy whatever time he is with any adult bc even when we grow up, we miss our parents.
I try to tell Dh about this and he says, "your making it into some big drama, he's happy and fine" I try to tell him that this poor kids is dealing with a lot and we need to realize that. Dh says , no he just wants to play with the Wii, it has nothing to do with missing BM....I am not convinced. Kids love their parents at this age, even if their crackheads or horribly selfish.
ST: Do you think the SKids that have horrible parents still feel attached even though it doesn't show very often??
I feel hurt that he doesn't want to be here when I know this is the most stable, healthy place for him.
Is it the Bm or the Wii or us??