You are here

NANNA! And the lazy BM.

LauraHelton331's picture

Well, as I have mentioned before, things are going well with SS9 being cared for by Wicked Me after school. But steplife is never without its issues, now is it?

Today is Sunday. BM's one and only nephew has a birthday party today. SS9 and this little nephew are THE STARS of BM's family. We had NO notice of this party. This party is NOT for anyone in OUR family. It is BM'S FAMILY!!

So, yesterday, this is the conversation:

SS: "Hey Dad, what time is Cousin's party tomorrow?"

DH: "Ummmmmmm what party? SS9, you can't just spring these things on me!"

SS: "Cousin's party. I think it's at 1 or 1:30."

DH: "Well you need to find out what time for sure. Where is this party at? When were you and your mom going to tell me about this?"

(.....In the meantime, SS9 calls Cousin's mom and finds out that the party is in fact at 130 at the Bowling Alley....)

DH: "Alright, great, so what time is your mom picking you up?"

SS: "Ummm what? My mom is too busy. She said YOU would take me to the party Daddy."

DH: "SS9, I know this is difficult for you to understand, but this party is for your Mom's family. Your mom is off tomorrow. She is the one that is going to take you to the party."

SS: "No Dad. Mom is soooo busy. You have to take me to this party."

DH: "I will not. Aren't your grandparents going to the party too?"

SS: "No."

SIGH. So here they are taking advantage of my DH again. DH texted BM and said if MY FAMILY was having a party and none of us were going to be there, would YOU take SS9 and hang out? And she admitted NO WAY would she do that. Why on EARTH would anyone expect my DH to go hang out with his ex's family?! And they just ASSUME that he will. BM continued to pull excuses out of her butt as to why she simply could not attend the party. And her parents have something legit going on as well.

DH finally agreed that he will drop him off there, but he will not stay at the party and he is not picking him up. WHY IS HE EVEN DOING THAT?? Because if DH did NOT take SS9 to the party at all, NANNA! would have gone on and on TO SS9 about how horrible DH is for not doing it.

The bottom line is this: BM is very lazy. DH works his butt off. Even the ex-in-laws know BM is lazy. So DH and NANNA! end up doing everything. If DH stops enabling BM, then NANNA! will just do it all, and be even more involved with PASing that kid to death. DH does stuff he doesn't want to do for BM just so NANNA! won't get involved. It really has nothing to do with helping BM out in any way. It has to do with keeping NANNA! out of the way.

It sucks. We can't maneuver ANYTHING so that ANY responsibility will fall on BM. NANNA! is the problem.

Comments

Most Evil's picture

BM is really reaching for this, huh? It is a shame but at least you cared enough to make sure SS got to the party.

_________________________________________________________
Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety.

William Shakespeare, "Antony and Cleopatra", Act 2 scene 2

justme2's picture

That is so horrible! Nanna should of picked ss up and stayed with him. You two really are caught in the middle. Sooner or later Nanna is going to get tired of being used. My mom does the same w/ mis sis and her kids. I feel sorry for my brother in law. I'm contantly telling him I understand and listen to him when he needs to vent. I constantly tell my mom that she needs to make my sis take responsibility - but she always has some excuse for her. It is called co-dependency. My mom and nanna must help them no matter what. Maybe one day they will wake up and smell the coffee. Maybe if enough people let nanna know she is over-doing herself and being taken advantage of (my other sis and I are constantly telling mom)... maybe she will lay off. Either way - know that you are not alone! Hang in there!