Am I wrong to think these thoughts
Sometimes I just think it would be easier if something happened to my DH. Don't get me wrong--I love him dearly--he is my rock, my soulmate and we are working hard on our spirtual relationship w/God together. But I just want BM away. If my DH was to die, SD16 who brings so much turmoil, fighting, bad blood in our house right now could go live with BM (psycho) for good, and I could feel like my DH and I did all we could for her. And I would have NO reason to have any contact w/BM--she would get no CS from me and I could focus on raising my four Bio children.
I feel terrible for thinking having my DH dead would be the easiest way to end this mess. Does anyone else ever feel this way? I mean, I lived with my BS for many years, and did just fine a as a single mom. Life was easier as my ex totally supports me and the way I mother (Thank you God for that). I am so tired of being called an unfeeling, liar by BM and SD!!!! I am so tired of having to explain decisions I make about SD. I am so tired of my DH having to spend all this extra time dealing w/SD and BM crap, that I fear he will stroke out anyway and he wouldn't have to deal with them anymore himself and be peaceful again in heaven.
Wow--done with my vent for a bit
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Comments
Oh Yeah
I've had that fantasy myself...I guess if you feel desperate enough your mind searches for any possible solutions to your problems. Sad isn't it.
yes, and i was bashed for it on here
its normal in my opinion---when u have no fight in you left you think of the ultimate----death.
lol, so far no
but there is new bm drama but i have to get going to school so i have to wait till later.
btw, hows the droopster?
No, I know it is not the
No, I know it is not the only way out. And this is not a thought I have that often, just during really struggling times. I know that it is Satan putting those thoughts in my head, and generally I try to fight Satan back on them---really was just curious if this was common among other SM's. Sometimes it is just good to know that you are normal, and not the only one who may have a thought like that. I do not know that I could bear life without my DH. He has ALWAYS placed our relationship first, and he stands by me and doesn't take sides with Skids or Biokids. We are a united front. I just oftentimes wonder if it is something that could happen---I don't want it to happen---but I see my life differently if it did.
Death is something we do have to prepare for. My DH is hitting 47, so it could happen, and I don't want to be completely shocked. I pray that it won't and that we will get some time for it to be just us in 16 years after all kids are grown.
We reach a point
in our stress tolerance where we flip over to the dark side, in my opinion.
Some of us direct our dark thoughts outwards, to those who caused the stress in the first place. Some of us turn them inwards, against ourselves, and wish ourselves dead as the only possible escape from this madness.
I can't say what's normal. I do know that when you find yourself thinking these things, it's time for some drastic changes.
Me too!
And I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one LOL
I have only been in this relationship for a year and a half and for me the fantasy became more frecuent after we tied the knot back in May of this year. I always feel so bad after thinking it because I really love my DH and I can not even immagine living the rest of my life with out him, but if he were to die then the skids would go to their BM full time whether she wants them or not (they are full time with us now and she sees them when it's convenient for her, sometimes she will go even three months or longer with out even a phone call but when she comes back around is all drama, drama, drama) and I wouldn't have to deal with my DH dealing with her drama. And yes I have also wish that one of this days the BM will go through with her threats of killing herself just so we can have some peace, if she is talking about offing herself all the time why not just do us all a favor and get it over with and leave us to live our lives in happines. (wow, did I just said that out loud!) LOL
Not yet but...
I do often fantasize about living alone. I have my escape fund if necessary. Then DH does or says something that reminds me of why I love him. DAMN!
Glynne
I often times wish BM would move out of state
and that we would too
That way we wouldn't have to deal with BM at all.
We would get SS for 1/2 a year and summers or something and I could get a peace of mind...
I haven't ever
Never wished harm or death upon my DH. But I have a frequent fantasy of BM just getting vaporized into oblivion. Then we could raise sd11 as we see fit.
It's really sad to see how many have had even a tiny inkling itch of a fantasy about the demise of their dh,bf,fh...it's surprising actually. I thought more of that sort of fantasy would be focused on the skids and bms... It is heartbreaking to see so many women pushed so far by their dh's. sounds to me like MANY dh's need to get their heads out of their skids asses and see what they're doing to their woman. (((((HUGS)))) to all in the dark place, be strong girls
~Dignity and Grace. Be that and sneak past the hate...wrinkle free~
Not with DH, but my Ex
My DH is wonderful and everything I woman could ever want. I've never had those thoughts about him.
But my Ex - I thought it all the time. I even planned what to do with the insurance money if he died. My kids and I would pay off the house, fix it up like I always wanted, and live our lives without the constant walking-on-eggshells feeling we had when he was at home.
About a year before I finally left the jerk, he totaled my brand new Buick. He had gotten in a wreck on the interstate with a semi truck. I'm ALMOST (but not quite) ashamed to admit that I was disappointed that he came home without a scratch on him. I think if he had been killed in that wreck, I would have felt more relief than anything else.
______________________________________
Love me or hate me, I'm still gonna shine!!!
i NEVER
want dh dead ---- but often wish skids would vanish -- seems like everytime they do soemthing i imagine ways it could go bad........and feel bad about it, but can't shake the desire for them to be gone..............the only person i don't wish death is bm (even though she's no pleasure)--- b/c then we would have them 24/7 and that would totally be a deal killer -- compiled with the already oversompensation from mil ----
Why do I keep hearing this lately?
I think you are the 3rd person to say this recently, and I just don't get it! Why would anyone think having their DHs, that they love, DEAD is going to make them happier? Seriously? Wouldn't be much better to imagine the BM and/or skids dead instead? Whoever is the person/people that are causing you so much grief??
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"