Different strokes for different folks but showering with them / helping them at 7 and 10? :O I'm sorry but I think they're WAY old enough to shower alone. The sleeping thing? Again, I don't agree with it but there are some people who see no problem with that sort of thing.

They are old enough to be able to go to sleep on their own. This should have been enforced a long time ago. My daughter had a problem when she was around 5 with sleeping in her own bed alone, but I had to stick to my guns. I did things to help her in the beginning like leaving the t.v on for a while until she fell asleep, or giving her a stuffed animal, giving her a night light, and then telling her that I was proud of her for being a big girl the next morning. Didnt' take long for her to fall into this routine once she got used to it.

And there is definitely no way I would be showering with my children at that age. They are old enough to do this on their own.

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“Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”

Way before 7 and 10, they should be sleeping by themselves. And at 7, they should be showering themselves. It's amazing what children can accomplish when they're shown how - like the shower. My SD8 used to need help with the hot and cold water in the shower and she would yell for us every night, and my FH would go back there and get the water "right" for her, and one night when he wasn't there, I went back and showed her how to do it on her own and she's been doing it on her own ever since. With the sleeping on their own thing - my SD8 used to come into our room every night and want to sleep with us. Usually we sent her back to her room. This was difficult because she slept with her mother at her house. Well, one night I decided to read to them at bedtime after they were all tucked in. I would read for 15 - 20 minutes and they would usually fall asleep or get comfy and sleepy by the time I was done. Since that first night of reading, SD8 has not come into our bedroom again. This worked wonders and now BM does this at her house too (sometimes.)

**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**

SS10 almost and SD8 still have to sleep with their Dad, I go to couch.
I think b/c BM lives with her Dad and her sister, they sleep with BM. SS is very afraid of the dark.
I don't agree with it at all.

I think thats way too old for all the "baby" treatment she is giving. When I started dating my DH, his youngest son, 2½ at the time, needed to fall asleep in our bed and that my DH took him to his room. When he was about 3½, his mom was still sleeping with him every night and at our house, we were trying to get him to go to bed in his bed b/c we didnt want it to progress into something. He is now almost 5 and goes to bed in his bed every night and has no issues. His 8 yr old brother and him share a room for the time being. We do still have to help him bathe b/c he is only 5 and doesnt always get all the shampoo out of his hair or wash the best. But we let him do as much as he can b/c he's a "big boy" and than we say oh you missed a spot and help him focus on that area. I think its important for the kids to learn independence, its VERY different if they are sick or had a night terror to stay with them till they fall back asleep.

Plus I'm sure that wears on your intimacy time. I know my favorite part of the day is getting into bed with DH, even if we are only cuddling and talking. It's just being close with him and I'd be upset if I was sleeping alone

DH still showers with SS7, I never really thought twice about it. Now that I do, it seems really inappropriate! SS7 acts like a baby when it comes to bath time though. He cries for 15-30 minutes before DH can even get him in the shower. I guess he feels like he needs to be in there to make sure he does it right? We don't sleep with any of our kids. I like my bed to myself!

I know when my own bio son was 7 I would "assist" him through bath time. If I didn't wash his hair for him he wouldn't do it right........and so on and so forth. It took him until he was right at nine to be able to shower and do it PROPERLY. He used to be like Crayon's Droopy, soapless showers.........and I am not having the stinky kid in class so I helped him.

I think the last time my son saw me naked was when he walked in the room a few years back without knocking, he still swears his eyes haven't been the same since. He hit the floor screaming: MY EYES, MY EYES! LMAO, he's stupid!

But to take a shower WITH him at those ages is just not okay. Maybe if the dad were the one doing it, I can see that. But boundaries do have to come along sonner than later and IMHO, 7 is way to old to be showering with mommy. That's borderline gross to me.

If my DH was showering with his 7 year old daughter I'd be on here ranting and raving about how disgusting it is.

Welllll, my BS7 will ask me everynight if he can sleep with me and my answer is no. He is a terrible sleeper and will be all over me all night, causing me to not get a good nights sleep and I need that!
When SD9 comes to visit she will ask FH to sleep with her and I see that now he is saying no more and more, probably because she is starting to develop and he doesn't feel comfortable. He won't help her shower either, but he will turn the water on for her and then she adjusts it as she sees fit.
I think 10 is waaaaaay to old for that. I can see how your relationship can begin to suffer. I would be PISSED.

Sorry but hell no this is not normal!! What the hell is wrong with her??

"And this too shall pass..."

OMG!! Showering with them!! My BS just turned 3 and I have told him "you are getting to big to shower with mommy. Big boys shower by themselves" and he does--if he can at 3 so can these two. I maybe have to wash his hair when he is "done". Washing his body and playing in the water he manages just fine.

As far as sleeping goes SD has always slept in her own bed, when I first met H and they moved into my 1 bedroom she would sleep in our bed here and there--at my request, she was just 4 yrs. old. SD and BS sleep in there own beds if BS wakes up at night I give him 15 mins cuddle time in my bed then I walk him back to his room.

SD is 10, she is told everything is fine and given 15 min on the floor with her pillow and blanket--then I walk her back to her room. And I think i am being nice about this, H says she should be sent back ASAP.

this relationship with the boys is really starting to worry me.