blended families-step kids seperation
I posted here once before. I have 3 kids, two girls(ages 11 & 6) one boy (age 10). My SO has a son the age of 6. I've known my s/o for 5 yrs, started dating 2 yrs ago and moved in together for one year. We agreed that boys will share room and girls will share room. My S/O still keeps all of his sons belonging in our room and he takes a shower and his towel and stuff are in our master bathroom. His boks, papers, etc is there too! He claims the reason why he has it there is because my son is messy and he doesn't want his kids son in my sons mess. My step son has his bed and twp basket of toys in his room-thats it! everything else is in our room. geez! that hurts my feelings, my son isn't dirty but he can be messy and I am working on it with him. My S/O has agreed my son is getting better. Then he said to me that he will get his son his own dresser and in the closet he will put a divider and have a talk with the kids that when his son isnt here with us no one is to touch his stuff...i can understand that to teach them how to respect what isnt theirs but he sounds harsh. I know its silly but this is something stupid we are arguing about. It drives me nuts to partially share my room with my step son. My s/o says that as along as his sons stuff is on his side of closet and bed that i shouldnt have a problem with it. grrrrrrr...I decided to move my clothes to my sons closet and my stuff - i will sleep with my s/o the days his son isnt here and the days he is they can keep the room, mind game this way i dont get mad and its expected for his kid stuff to be there. Am i being too drastic to prove a point? i dont know how to fix this without sounding controlling.
Painter's tape down the
Painter's tape down the middle of the boys room. Visible boundary.
It sounds as if DH is the one with the issue, not the kids. Let the boys be boys. Don't touch other's stuff is a good house rule in general. I'll bet your son's stuff is much, much more interesting to SS-6 than his own, so I'll bet SS will have more trouble than your BS.
Evict SS from your adult bedroom. This is where you have private time as a couple and a child's stuff strewn about --- even if it's only on "his side" --- is a mood killer.
Has SO always been this set on distancing the families?
Idk wtf the problem is. Has
Idk wtf the problem is. Has he always been this distant? Not really.
This is so ridiculous. It
This is so ridiculous. It sounds like your DH is the one creating the issue.
Not wanting SKs to mess with
Not wanting SKs to mess with a bio kids things is pretty typical for most posters here. I can understand husband's point on that one. I also understand not wanting his kid's stuff in a messy room because his stepson is a slob. As long as the things he's storing your room aren't in your space, it' shouldn't be an issue.
The quickest way to solve the issue is to stay on your son about being messy.
what an idiot. he's being so
what an idiot. he's being so stupid. I remember XYSS taking all of his stuff to his mother's so my son "wouldn't touch it". LOL meanwhile, they were all over my son's things and I set down a rule. what is good for you is good for him. PAWS OFF. And I said it, too. You want to play that game, I'll play but you won't like it.
I can't stand crap like this. So hilarious how I was accused of hating those brats when their father created the issues that made me dislike them. I didn't actually dislike them until I found out the truth. They were all hurting me on purpose to get their way. Forget you and your stupid father.
You have quiet a game player there. Him and his precious prince. Tell him no one thinks his kid is a great as he does. Idiot.
I get your point. My SD (11)
I get your point.
share a room and I feel like SD is so dramatic about her "stuff". For one thing, my daughter already respects the rule of not touching her belongings. His daughter just has an entitlement issue and it pisses me off. I don't have a solution but I do know that 1) you deserve YOUR space and 2) your son doesn't need the worry and guilt of having to be perfect for his imperfect child.
My SD (11) and my BD
I say go with the visible boundary and have a house rule about belongings. URGHHH I feel your frustration!