How Many of your DH's are truly supportive of your life?

As a 2nd wife/StepMom I am always supportive of the issues that arise in DH's life. Whether it be court matters, BM drama, work stuff...whatever it is. I help think of creative ways for all to be happy and "fix" these issues. How many of you feel that your DH's are equally as involved in strategizing or even remembering the drama issues in your life? Just an opinion poll.

mumzy79's blog
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I love my husband very very

I love my husband very very much and he is pretty darn great to me, but to tell the truth, our whole life revolves around his drama with his son, EX etc. Whenever there is a schedule conflict I am the one who has to give up and not work my shift or change it or cancel going to see my family because his job pays better yadda yadda yadda. I am SO greatful that his job provides for all of us, but I love my job too and it makes me feel good about myself so I hate when I have to be the compromiser.

sounds like you are in the

sounds like you are in the same boat I am in sometimes. SS and SD get to do whatever they want in my house without earning it, SS literally RULES the ROOST..they have no structure or discipline and do not have to help with chores and I have no say about it. While at the same time trying to raise our bio kids with structure, guidance and discipline. its very hard to have one set of rules for one set of kids and not rules for the other set of kids.
I often joke with my husbadn that I am only good for 4 things in to him, 1) sex 2)wiping butts (at work w/ handicapped adults and at home with out little boys potty training) 3) cooking and cleaning (which I often do not do just to get help from him I should not have to work outside the home and maintian a clean hosue for 6 people with no help from the 2 teenagers or my husband so I go on strike to get them to pitch in)and 4) taxi service to my SS and SD. I really hoped to be appreciated for more than that but many days I feel that's all I am worht to my DH. He's too old fashioned or shovanistic in my mind, and he wasn't before we married, marriage turned a swtich in him where I went from partner, friend, etc...to house keeper and diaper changer.

I always love your responses

I always love your responses steve even if I dont always agree. Its your fair natured rational side. Does it ever bother you about your wife or have you just accepted that it will always be that way.

That is exactly how I feel.

That is exactly how I feel. Whew! I'm not bitter either. He is a great man. I know he wants to be what I want him to be. It seems selfish to me really...but now I am wondering if he is missing that chip that allows him to put himself in other peoples shoes so to speak. I think I am just having a frustrating week and my bios are sick and skids are here. No Brady Bunch theme today!

My husband is my rock.

Every day he goes out of his way to make sure I feel loved. I get poems, cards, letters, surprises, clean sheets on the bed and my pj's laid out when I am sick or have had a bad day. He loves and supports me unconditionally and I have learned to see myself through his eyes a little. He makes low fat meals when I'm dieting and 10pm trips to buy me chocolate when I'm not. He's backed me up, even when I have been wrong. He is the one person in the world who will ALWAYS have my back.

He used to be totally clueless in dealing with the two BM's and the skids but, to give him credit, he listened to me and made changes. He no longer allows the BM's or skids to treat us with anything other than respect. I know I come first in his life above everyone else, and in return I have a responsibility to support him to build the best relationship possible with his kids. I admire his committment to his kids even though I haven't always thought they deserved it.

I totally take him for granted so thanks for reminding me to be grateful. I might spoil him a little tomorrow.

I would say my DH is very

I would say my DH is very supportive, but the playing field isn't level.

He is a sweet, thoughtful and caring man, but I'm pretty independent. I don't have the baggage (kids, BM, the sometimes crazy ass in-laws) he does that we have to deal with as a team. But he seems to understand that it took a special person who must love him an awful lot to "step" up and agree to take all of that on and tries to show his gratitude for that always. He also makes me feel a very valued member of that team by letting me parent without restriction, respecting my wishes, keeping me in the loop, buffering me from useless BM bull and considering my advice and that's the best support you can get in a blended situation.

Of course, I help him out a lot but if I'm sick or just worn out or have a big case of the "don't wannas" he doesn't mind taking over all the responsibility of the kids and the house. And I know he'll do a good job when he does.

So I guess like others said - it's more all about him, but not much support is needed for me. I think a stepparent has to have themselves together to even get into it.

My DH is not. In fact

My DH is not. In fact sometimes I think he doesn't even know me. So much of our relationship energy has been focussed on his children, his issues and of course his hobbies, that somewhere a long the way I feel like I lost my way. Especially with pursuit of my career, education and dreams. I have learned that it not personal agaisnt me, he's just self centered like that and doesn'te ven realize it until he gets called out on it.
Here is one example, I used to be a fairly active environmentalist, but then our busy life made me put that to the back burner. Also I got so sick of being teased and haveing my husband tell me he doesn't give a shit if its bad for the environment. Well once I had my own kids I wanted to be a "green" example for them so a started getting active again. My husbadn was like since when are you a tree hugger, I said well I always used to be, then I met you and it got put to the wayside, when I had kids I got sick of not being who I truly was and said f-it and started taking tiny steps to grener living. And lets just say the environmental movement is a pain in the ass when you can't even when the green battles in your own home. But at least now I have my little boys and my SD preaching right along with me.

This is just one example of many...where our life is one-sided.
So I understand why you are asking this question and it sucsk we stand by our men throuhg thick and thin but when we need them they aren't always there for us. In my case my husband doesn't know how to be. I also realize that him being this way led to his ex wife having the affair that led him to the first divorce and I will not let him drive us down that road so I stand my ground all the time...and have to prompt him to be there for me all the time because it doe not come naturally to a man whom himself had an absent father, and really was better off without the jerk but still never learned how a supportive husbadn should be or loving father should act because he did not have the example growing up ...SO I AM ALSO VERY PATIENT WITH HIM...it helps to have my family be there for me when he doesn't know how to be.

Most recently, that's been with not overruling me in front of the SKs. Now, if we disagree, we'll go in another room and get it together so we can show a united front.

It's not perfect and it's not easy, but he definitely is very supportive and kind.

Now if I can just get him to pick up his socks from the floor ...