My SD8 is the same exact way. MANIPULATIVE! Only difference is that she will NEVER walk into my bedroom again. She can't come in anymore because she stole my diamond ring my DH gave me. I get the same thing with grandparents thinking her ass is made of gold. I wish I had more advice to give but it's nice to know we're in a place where we're not alone. Good Luck

You need to have a serious talk with your significant other. There need to be boundaries clearly laid out for you two to have your time together where no one can intrude unless the house is on fire! Time to talk, kiss, hug, love each other, just space to breathe freely without an interfering world intruding. These rules need to be strictly enforced. You should be the most important aspect of his life period. If he balks on this then I recommend reevaluating your relationship. The child needs to understand that the two of you need your private time together. The two of you should have dinner together occasionally, minus the kids, take a few vacations together etc. Remember, after the kids are gone it will just be the two of you. He needs to understand that this child is deliberately manipulating him to steal his attention and affections away from you: whether the intent of this child is malicious remains to be seen. In the future the child needs to politely knock on your closed bedroom door if he or she needs something. Then the door is closed. A lock should not be needed. If you two BOTH agree to let the child in on super special occasions, fine, But do not let it become a habit. No one comes in my bedroom without knocking on the door and awaiting a reply. They should not just walk in. Kids need to learn to respect their parent's time together. This also teaches them that they are not the only pebble on the beach and not as important as they thought. Kids can selfishly hijack and ruin their parent's relationships. Please don't allow it to happen. Stand up and tell your husband to be a parent first and a friend secondly to the child. If your Dear Husband reads my writing and does not agree then he is to blame for the child's errant behavior and should be held responsible, not the child. OK?

When I was a single mom, I set Thursday nights as "my night". I fixed the kids some dinner and watched TV in my room from 7 to 8. Then I got them through their baths and put them to bed and watched TV again from 9 to 10. That was the only time I ever took for myself. I told them unless there were one of the 3 Bs (blood, barf, broken bone) they were not to interupt me. They would sit in the doorway of my room until my show was over so that they could talk to me, but they did NOT interrupt.

My point? No one questioned my "mothering". Everyone recognized that adults need this time to themselves. I was not made to feel guilty or evil for demanding 2 hours a week for me. So why is it, as step parents, we are labeled as uncaring, jealous, selfish for wanting the same things that intact bio parents demand?

I have no good advice, I just wanted to reassure you that this type of behavior shouldn't be tolerated in "intact" families any more so than in blended families.

As soon as DH started limiting SD's clingy behavior it stopped. This was all his doing and he needed to be the one to undo it!

We had to have a counseler tell us that this behavior was abnormal for ss at age 8 before DH came to terms with it. DH always said he felt like I was making him choose. It got to a point where we would be getting intimate and SS would slip a note under the door "Daddy, will you come play with me?" and off DH went. SS lives with us, so it's not like he doesn't get "daddy time". The counseler went on to explain that SS will never become self reliant if DH and BM keep playing into that behavior. It will actually hurt the child in the long run. DH is good with it now, but at first, it was horrible. I wouldn't be around if it had continued. You need to talk to your DH and have some boundaries set.

"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus

My SD8 is exactly the same way.. a leach to daddy ..she follows him to the bathroom, and sits outside the door..she sits in the hallway outside our door. we literally have to go in the bedroom and lock our door just to speak to each other.. and if there is a 1" gap on the couch she will squish her fat ass right in between us and hug all over him..and it kills me when she looks at me with those beady eyes and says "i love you daddy" ugh i know she is doing it to piss me off..its a big smack in the face to me because she does it on purpose to irritate me.. he spends time with her and she gets his undivided attention for short periods while she is with us because i make it a point to leave so that can happen however she wants his full attention all the time... i feel your pain...

Freedom, my own son is like this with BF. He is like a little leech to BF, always following him around, even into our bedroom where he just stands there and 'hangs' out as if he is one of the adults. It really irritates me, and I never imagined I would feel like that towards my OWN son, but I do, so I can only imagine how you feel in your situation. The difference is, is that I have the authority to stop it when it's happening. I honestly don't think my son realizes he is attaching himself so much to the hip of BF, he just really looks up to him, and BF takes the time out to play with him and spend time with him. This means alot to my son considering his Dad isn't around.

Funny thing is, I don't recall having this irritating/frustrating feeling about this when my Son's Dad and I were together.

We have since made rules that noone is allowed to come into our bedroom especially without knocking first. Noone is allowed to interrupt us while we are talking to one another. And the kids get put to bed at 9pm during the weekdays, 1030-1100 during the weekends. After they go to bed, they are not allowed to get up, and that is when we have our quality time alone together.

You have to stick to the rules, but old habits die hard, so sometimes you just have to keep working at it, until this becomes the habit.

((((HUGS)))) honey!!!

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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”