MARRIAGE

WELL... WHERE DO I START, I LEFT MY X-HUSBAND FOR A MAN THAT I HAVE LOVED WITH EVERY INCH OF MY HEART. I HAVE NEVER EVER FELT THIS WAY FOR ANYONE SINCE IVE BEEN BORN. WELL NEEDLESS TO SAY HE HAS GROWN CHILDREN 3 SONS.(35,32,28) 2 OF THE 3 HAVE KIDS OF THEIR OWN. I HAVE FIVE CHILDREN MYSELF, 3 ADULTS (25.21,19) WITH KIDS OF THEIR OWN, AND 2 STILL AT HOME. (18 AND 11) THE PROBLEM IS SO DIFFERENT LIFE STYLES IN UP BRINGING. MY CHILDREN HAS BEEN TAUGHT TO BUDGET THEIR MONEY AND PROVIDE FOR THEMSELVES AND HIS KIDS DAILY HAVE THEIR HANDS OUT USING THEIR CHILDREN AS BEING HUNGRY. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN FINANCIALLY ESTABLISHED AND MONEY WAS NEVER AN ISSUE NOR CREDIT, WITH THE ECONOMY BEIND AS IT IS I HAVE BRANCHED MY BUSINESS INTO A DIFFERENT TYPE TO BE CLOSER TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND AND WE NOW WORK TOGETHER AS PARTNERS AND WE HAVE ONE OF HIS SONS AND HIS WIFE EMPLOYED AS WELL AS 2 OF MY DAUGHTERS. THIS BUSINESS IS SUCH A GREAT OPPORTUNITY FOR US BUT WE ARE NOT IN THE GREEN AS OF YET. WE BOTH ARE SACRIFISING SO MUCH KNOWING AT THE END OF THIS HARD TIMES WE WILL BE FINANCIALLY STABLE. BUT WILL WE MAKE IT? WE HAVE SET SO MANY DIFFERENT DATES TO BE MARRIED ON OF THE LATEST IS THIS JANUARY 28,2010. WELL I REALLY WANTED TO BIG BLING BLING WEDDING BUT CAN NOT AFFORD IT YET SO WE DECIDED TO GET A QUICK WEDDING IN THE MAINLAND AND MAYBE RENEW LATER WHEN WE CAN AFFORD IT.
IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYTIME WE GET CLOSE TO THE DATES WE FIGHT CONSTANTLTY. I BLAME IT ON HIS SON ALWAYS NEEDING MONEY.... NOT BUGETING AND NOT WORKING EXTRA HOURS TO BE ABLE TO SURVIVE. TODAY BEING A HOLIDAY HIS DAUGHTER IN LAW TOOK IT UPON HERSELF TO TAKE THE DAY OFF WHEN EVERYONE ELSE SHOWED UP TO WORK. AND HIS SON BROUGHT HIS SONS TO WORK AND OF COURSE DID NOT HAVE NO MONEY OR FOOD TO FEED HIS KIDS. I HAVE PUT ASIDE 300.00 DOLLARS FOR MY WEDDING DRESS, VAIL , AND FLOWERS AND HE KNEW THIS WAS ALL THE MONEY I HAD BUT STILL INSISTED ON ME GIVING HIM MONEY FOR HIS SON. WE JUST GAVE THEM 180.00 DOLLARS ON FRIDAY AND 150 THE DAY BEFORE THAT AND 50.00 BEFORE THAT AND 30 GAS AND SO ON AND SO ON AND DONT FORGET THE PAYCHECKS THAT THEY ACTUALLY EARN. THEY TAKES CARS AND USE THE GAS AND MAKE IT DIRTY AND DONT GIVE A CRAP. ALL HIS SON DOES FOR A LIVING IS BLAME HIS DAD FOR HIS FINANCIAL SITUATION AND I AM SO TIRED OF IT, WHAT REALLY UPSET ME IS WHEN ALL I HAD WAS 57.00 AND HE HAD A FIT I GAVE HIM 50.00. LEAVING ME WITH 7.00 AND AN 11 YEAR OLD HUNGRY. I FEEL LIKE I CANT DO THIS MUCH LONGER WE HAVE NO ROMANCE. SEX ISNT THAT GREAT ANYMORE. ITS NOT BECAUSE I DONT LOVE HIM IT BECAUSE HIS SON AND THE BAGAGE I HAVE TO DEAL WITH. I CANT I CANT I CANT......HELPPPPPPPPPPP

UNICORN's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

I second this...on all

I second this...on all counts. Including the caps

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

Let me get this right. You

Let me get this right. You left a man you have five children with who at least worked with you to obtain financial security for your family and helped raise 5 good kids for man who is neutered by his children, fosters both financial and family instability and puts his children before you?

Unless your XH was a abusive axe murderer what the hell where you thinking? I know ..... you werent thinking. You were following that tingly feeling that sometimes can get us in trouble.

Not a very good decision if you ask a man who was left by a morally bankrupt gold digging XW.

Enjoy your new life.

You got what you deserve IMHO.

Best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications) To each according to their performance, screw Karl Marx. (Rags)

Sharp and true,

Sharp and true, Rags...Perfect response.

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

Thanks for the props B.

Thanks for the props B. Sometimes I can't bite my tongue when things like this crop up.

Sparents get a bad rap enough just for being Steps. Ruining a seemingly solid family because some guy makes her swoon then being surprised that he has issues of character is ridiculous IMHO.

If UNICORN was a man I would say she suffered from a short circuit between her brain and her balls. I am not quite sure how to word the female equivalent while maintaining a semblance of decorum.

Best regards,

I'd call it a short circuit

I'd call it a short circuit between her brain and her cl*t. Dirty,yup. True,absolutely.

I once had a short circuit like that myself...thankfully it was corrected before I did too many boneheaded things.

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

How about Cranium and ****.

How about Cranium and ****. I think it is little more poetic.

I too had that short circuit in my first marriage. But only after months and months of rejection of intimacy and emotional abuse from my XW. I am no justifying it but it was a daliance motivated by the XW's behavior.

The thought has never crossed my mind nor has an uncontrolled tingle of short circuit happened in my current marriage.

So, like you, I have not allowed too many boneheaded things to occur.

I have lived first hand the difference between a really shitty marriage and an incredible one. I am a lucky man to have the incredible woman who shares her life with me.

Okay, maybe she is a little lucky too.

Best regards,

Definitely more poetic:)

Definitely more poetic:) I'm slightly unpolished when irritated as I am today

I think you're both lucky BTW...that's why your marriage is such a great one this time. It wouldn't work if only one of you could be considered lucky,the balance would be off.

I like the balance you've created,it's a good thing.

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

My parents and most of my

My parents and most of my friends would tell you that I am far from balanced.

lol,I bet that could be said

lol,I bet that could be said for many of us

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

As you can see sometimes the

As you can see sometimes the grass is NOT greener!
Good luck with this!

"And this too shall pass..."

WOW! What a mess is all I

WOW! What a mess is all I can say. My only advice would be to step back.... really access things truthfully without all the "love" feelings you are having and be honest about your situation.

Seems like there is a lot of drama and confusion and other things going on. Is it really worth living your life this way until death do part?

Seems like you have some hard questions to answer and as equally hard a situation to deal with. If it were me - I would get out of that situation as quick as possible..... It seems to be like a boat with a leak in the bottom. Right now you are bailing water to stay afloat... What happens when you get tired of bailing everyone out to stay afloat.

Run..... fast, long, and hard to get out of this situation.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

Wow, tough crowd. I do

Wow, tough crowd. I do agree that this probably isn't going to change...the situation with his kids. If they are that entitled and dependent at their ages and he isn't willing to take a stand for yourselves then he isn't likely to change that with marriage. I would definitely take the barriers to the wedding as a sign or warning to reassess my decisions and opportunities in life....just because you are where you are today doesn't mean you have to stay there for the rest of your life. Nobody I've ever known deserved to pay for the same mistake for eternity.

I'm probably going to be

I'm probably going to be going against the norm here, but I don't think the question was whether or not her choice was a good or moral one. I'm sure she already knows the answer to that one.
But I just think, affair aside, it just doesn't look like a good situation to be in. He is still taking care of his adult children, and they won't say no if he continues to offer money.
I think maybe you need to look at this situation and see if it really is the right one for you.

You are here

Comments